her honourable suicide notes

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Christina Pang
Facebook
twenty.still
nineteen april eighty eight
graphic designer at homeclub
temasek design school
in 2005-2008
madly in love with Jacob

Opiate fetishs
lost for all in the moment. finding myself.

HATES
the cruelty of life itself

WISH
- a wide/prime with low F-stop camera lens
- chanel necklace
- d&g specs
- new accoustic guitar
- electrice guitar
- mac pro book
- out of singapore.badly

so fly

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

as strange as emily.

hello internet.

its been awhile.
how life's doing virtually for you?
it has been the same for me, like as it has for you.

i've work like usual on weekdays,
late like usual.
less party on weekends, like "usual".

i think im losing myself as a person.
i do not wish to socialise, nor to get involve.
what have i become.

is there something so tiresome for me?

life itself?
maybe.

relationship tamed me into someone that i dont know?
or just strange to me.

strange like a stranger.
i dont know.
or perhaps this is just me?

but... there's something.

i can feel it.
its in me.

coming back again.
scurring for something... for awhile now.

again.

designing.
colours.
inspirations.
learn.
earn.

busy.

finally. i need something.

next month i am turning away from 20.

21.

twentyone.

yes.

21.

the number i feared the most when i was as young as today.

twentyone.
many said its door to freedom.

twentyone.
i say its the door to doom.

age it just a number,

but as the digits grow
it hold more than you wish.

life.

there will be change.
just 4 mths away.
i yearn for that.
very much longing.

there i dont know what i'll be.
it's as strange as you to me.
future cant be seen.
my shoes are not yours to be in.

weird.

yes. weird.
this is weird.

was.

was when u understand it.

Sign off

Pangst.
the strange side of Christina.

my honourable suicide notes
-

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Doc Pang

somebody save me! (shout from your screen)
i know its dead.
no one is able to save it, only i could.
the soonest i will, when im free.

- Doc Pang.

my honourable suicide notes
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Sunday, January 18, 2009

life's for sharing

i know many thought my blog was dead.
you guys are dead wrong.
i'm jus lazy lah! haha... been busy.
nth much made me really wanna post anything as i couldnt fork out much time
however this is sooooooooo good that i cant possibly give it a miss.
this makes me happy.
it made my bum bum move on my seat.
hope it does for you too
:D

its an TMobile advert at Liverpool Street Station.
Life's for Sharing!
im sharing this with you.
:)

my honourable suicide notes
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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

myartwar

this is my online portfolio.

ive updated like finally,
with works from homeclub made my portfolio livelier!
haha, because ive work to do everyday and i can update it with my work!

i decided to post this here cuz ive nv really publicize my own portfolio online actually.
i only gave the links to companies when i was hunting for a job.

i dont know why ive this sudden thought to publicizing my portfolio here on my own blog.
its not much publicity but its a small start yea?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/myartwar/

MY ART WAR!

woot people! feel free to ask me Qs about my work too.
the.art.war@gamil.com or my personal mail too.

thats all folks
aitessss!
gtg go smoke out from office as its knock off time yea!

*smoke out!

my honourable suicide notes
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painstaking hour

ytd was the worst raining day i ever lived through.

i was on my way to work and it started raining,
when i reach my destination which is jus opp my workplace.
i was helplessly stucked at the bus stop for an hour.
and that hr was the most painstaking hr ive ever been through.

almost every car drove past the nearest road to the bus stop,
make a "tidal wave" towards the whole entire bus stop and ive no where to hide.
alas, i was all wet eventhou i wasnt under the rain.

i was soo distraught that i wanted to skip work.
i was drenched, helpless and alone.
but i didnt and hang on there,

and i took a bus to outram mrt to take cover,
waited.. and waited for the rain to stop
sigh.. more to say but thinking about how bad the day was nostalgically dreadful.

my honourable suicide notes
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Wednesday, November 05, 2008

"home" grace period of mine

haha.. guess where am i now.
hmm. . . .

im in my office!
im a badass i know, i know,
blogging while working.
but hey! i finished my work that is why i have the time to blog.
and i seldom do anything else den work alone while at work!
so i guess i do deserve some leisure grace period as rest time for awhile?
haha...

well, after my in charge is back from China
workload had been a little more and uptight den usual.
(plus along another is back too!)
However i still appreciates somebody's presence with me that i can speak to.

Anyhow, last friday was halloween and it wasnt rocking at all. at all.
maybe the fun period was the time dressing up and meeting up my girlies ( Lin & Huikee)
other den tat, no.
cant enter phuture cuz it was exaggeratedly packed with ghouls, skeletons, pirates and death itself.
i was very dissappointed that i cant go as i didnt step afoot on phuture's ground for half a year already.
i was a phuture kid, now im a "home" kid.
literally. (if you know what i mean)

i was dressed as a dead cabaret, or a widow.
and i spend... hmm.. nth at all?
last year i spend some bucks on the sword, but this year nth!
and my costume is still totally rocking socks without any cent spent.
pwned!
Lin as a bloody dead nurse and Huikee was sexily dressed in a black chongsum with a flurry neck thingy plus along with a headshot on her head. i didnt call her anything cuz i dunno if she's dress like a dead mamasan, or some dead getai singer.
OPPPS! haha...
its for u to think wild pple.
i kinda look like a cosplayer but no... more to the western side please.
haha... something really sad is that no one brought camera!
hence, ive no photos at all.
sad case. :(

my baby came along too... he was sooooooo reluctant to go clubbing, but still came with me.
along with his chauvinistic perspective and beliefs, baahs... how could he!!
after which we went off early and quarreled outside the club as something happened.
like duuuhhh... issue is unable to disclose! haha...
but after close to an hour of verbal war ( no vulgar ), that's the end of it.
cabbed back to tpy Mac and eat.
and damnmnmnnnnmnmnnm funny.
ive blood on my neck to mimicked a slashed cut, and a blood tattoo heart with blood gashing out on left arm
ppl in mac stared at me as if i was a walking corpse. maybe.
haha!
esp one Mac delivery uncle.
he stared with a open mouth and head turn to wherever i walked..
of cuz i told him it was fake as it's halloween!
and oh my, he was relieved.

haha...
treat or trick ? i guess..
gtg get my ass back to work!

my honourable suicide notes
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Saturday, October 25, 2008

i want nobody but you

oh i forgot to post this!
credits to Yaoming! my ex boss in Avant Garden :)
he gave me this to watch!

so entertaining but nice too!
ENJOY YA!

p/s : moral of this story is to tell you get more toilet paper before you shit.
if not, you will be in deep shit trouble.
HAHAH!!!

WONDERGIRLS!

* sings - i want nobody nobody but you...

my honourable suicide notes
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Friday, October 24, 2008

im blogging because i dont wanna slp

ive been working at Homeclub as a Graphic Designer for a month-ish already.
Working there is actually pretty enjoyable in the sense that i do not encounter much stress however so learning experience aint so much a radical one as ive no one to gain or teach me.
even if i did learn.
Those were self-taught or learned from mistake made from projects.
so far, i havent much encounter haywire duties that will stress me out crazily or in other words,
they havent got a project that is like that. haha...
but sometimes i think Job need some challenge so we will out do what we always to and strive for the indifferent possibilities.
Homeclub designer, as what ive heard from other is in Shanghai now.
The time that i'll stress out will be the time when he's back.

so i guess meanwhile, i'll enjoy all that i can or if i can...
not in slacktitude but its more on exploring in any form of design that im inspired to do

Anyhow, back to life.
ive been bumping into my girls lately,
which is something i really get fond of.
Miao - i saw her at tpy bus stop as well as bus
Lin - After her work when she heading to bugis and im heading to BlueJazz
Minhui - at bus stop while im gg to work and she's gg to sch!
Chi - Met her up!
and many others like my friends!

sometimes, i jus wonder...
where the hell have all of us been up too.
we seem to be distant as compared to how we were used to be.
dammit...
i guess what i can conclude is that this is a inevitable cruel fact of growing up,
getting our responsible as a young adult catching up to our ass made us busy with ourselves.

life goes on and everything ought and will change.
you know what i mean.
jus be contented with whatever we are going through,
good or bad
love it or hate it
at the end of the day,
i am sure the sun will shine for you.

wahhh.. u mus be thinking that Christina is mad talkin so deep with life.
have you forgotten?
im mad to begin with!
haha...

ive been hanging out alot with my craxy bunch of hockey mates too!
Grace, Jojo, Shark and Daps!
the last time with full attendance, they made a fool out of Jacob's place for the bbq
but it was so fun !
machiam Chalet! ahahaha!

OHOHOH!
my family had welcomed a new member in ytd!
HIS NAME WAS SPORTY..
which i find it horrible, so i called him HOCKY!
den my sis called it MILO
den Samual called it WU MING ( NO NAME)
( we cant settle on what name to give him...)
can u imagine?
like different pple kept callin u with a different names at the same place around the same time?
he mus be confused, poorthing.
and finally i came up with a brillant named which my sis and i agree one
and called it COOKIE!
better den my mom! wanna call it Jacob, HAHA!

oh.. HE'S A DOG! Shih Tze breed.
not a breed i like but its one of my sis dog's babies
and its almost 3 mths old.
personally i was actually against the idea of having pet, but since my mom insisted.
i cant do anything.
moreover, im not the one cleaning it!
and as long as it dont come into my room
haha!!!

my internet is down again. :(
but this time im not really bothered by it because i can be online at work!
ahaha...
you mus be thinking.. woah..
bloggin while workin... what a snake!
NOWAY!

Im at Jacob's place now.
he had a sudden fever in camp and came home early.
so i came home with him and took care of him.
sponge him with ice cold water, covered him with blanket, bring food and water to him, pat him to sleep. Until his fever is down, den i stopped taking care like a real baby.
he's a ugly sleeping monster now.
drooling all over his pillow sheet and subsequent staggering snores roars
so cute... ALRIGHT.. at least to me.
haha...

he wrote me an email ytd and it was so sweet of him
i love you Jacob!
hope you get well soon!

: D

my honourable suicide notes
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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

pear!

" Look ma... It's Pear! i want one too!!!"

He is Stefan Lucut a designer from Timisoara, Romania
http://www.stefanlucut.com/

funny!
:D

my honourable suicide notes
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Monday, October 13, 2008

"young girl dont cry"

he forgotten about it like again.
a sense of insignificant daggered through my heart
and make me ponder...
it never fails as disappointment consume me into deepen darker thoughts
simple as it is,
jus remember this day
and celebrate it with a greet to me. for me. for us.
It was a mark of the day we abide to love each other more than jus friends
rejoiced again with words simply to remind ourselves we are going strong,
be contented about what we have...
or perhaps is so lucky that im with you.

please tell me that isnt too much to ask?

"imprisoned" for a week plus or so
upon seeing me, i felt no excitment from you.
the mere same old dull face i see
the mere same "hi there... only" phrase i heard
the mere same old cold touch i got from you.

am i that unpleasing for you?
seriously?

sometimes i jus think you were more affectionate with her(s)
den me.

every week, the gush of...
i cant wait to see him,
i want to see him,
i love to see him
thoughts filled my mind
but you?

you seems to carry the "she will be there for me" mindset for awhile now.
whenever you are coming out or going in.
im always forking out my time jus for you
doin nothing much but just be there.
this afternoon like usual "i'll be there" day,
it suddenly strucked me that
"why am i here when i dont seems to be needed and i could have been elsewhere using up my time in better ways"
what actually made me thought of this
cuz when i am there, i do nothing much or dont seems to be needed

jus like that day,
i went all the way down alone to simei as told
ate alone, wander alone, wait for ya mom alone
reach ya camp and stood there with ya mom for almost 2 hrs
and what i got the first thing from you is "you are not forgiven"

not remembering our day wasnt a very pleasing already,
and yet this thing you said.
know what is "what the hell am i doing here" feeling?

why am i sacrificing so much for someone that i dont think that loves me.
seriously, if im not happy, dont feel loved, dont feel missed,
dont feel anything that will make me feel important.
why the friggin heaven am i still there for you.

do i need to become really bad to you so you could be nice to me?

when i needed someone really bad,
where are you?
stucked in camp.
and i understand totally that it cant be help
but why cant you jus be more affectionate with me when we are able to see each other
let me feel/know that im not alone

all this unhappiness in me jus made me fear it will become like my previous relationship.
the hopelese thought of hanging on for the sake for hanging on
a week after week
praying it will be better in another week.
and all ends in pain when there's no more week to wait for.

sometimes you said you do but why does my heart feels it?
instead it felt the other way.
and why dont you sound that you do?
and why dont you tell me if you do?
dont tell me maybe i'm sensitive again, as why no consider that you are insensitive?

you told me you were unexpressive about affections
you was expressive before.
can you be the same?

do you know how sad a woman can be?
you saw her cried painfully before, you ached for her as u cant do anything
woman are affectionate people who needs to know they are love.
from friends, family, husband or boyfriend
no love, they crumbles into emptiness whom seek other ways to feel significant

i know and understand clearly that there's nothing wrong with our relationship.
it's evident as there's no hate, no 3rd else
i do feel bliss that i've found you, you are with me and you are faithful.
but i jus couldnt acccept the fact/feeling that i do not feel love by you.
it drives me craxy with my ridiculous thoughts about you...
if it carry on...
soon i'll have my time and crumble
that's when the point i seek elsewhere for significance

i hope that day will never come.
please..

my honourable suicide notes
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Thursday, September 25, 2008

POP LOH

im aware that i didnt update again, hence i hereby offer my humble apologies.
i was really busy accompanying my precious baby as he was finally freed from army for 12 days.
i was sooo willingly to forsake any of my time just to make full use of this opportunity with him.
Forgoing friends' outings, clubbing nights and sometimes even sleep!
As afterwards, he's gonna get confined back into OCS camp at Jurong for 3 weeks!
arghs...

Before all of these,
i attended his POP - Passing out parade, which is now renamed/called GP - graduation parade because 'passing out' sounded like u are literally passing out which incidentally happened to some of them during the parade unfortuantely.
( POP LOH! )

Went over to that "land of goodbyes" with his Mom this time round.
initially, it was pretty weird - you know, the usual 'weird' feeling everyone will have while with ya lover's parents.
you shld get what i mean !
haha..
we got to seat VIP SEATS! weeee! not because i went there and i refused to budge but because my baby was the platoon best!
Hence we got the "grand" seats.
so proud of you darling.
Surprisingly, you're not the laziest nor the hardworking one...
is just that the rest of ya platoon are lazier den you!
which means you are still lazy. haha! :X
i'm kidding sweetie.

while settling down at the seats,
i kinda had a squabbled with one of the Sir/Sergant or whatever because Auntie wanna seat outside but he refused and insisted us to move in............. idiot...
so we ended up sitting at the corner of each end alone as those were the available one.
Which means, Auntie was sitting behind me, so that makes me infront of her.
after settling down. i was sooooooooo excited to see baby so i starting all my nonsense with Auntie.
OH NO.... talked to her as if i was talking to a friend but of cuz, i minded my language!

after a long wait,
they finally came marching in after their 24 km route march
:D:D:D:D
i was so eager to spot my baby.
look...... stare.................. strain my eyes...............................
w h a t . . . . . t h e . . . . .
all looked the same one!!!! like toy soldiers!
fortunately Jacob told me where he would be standing!
when they are all in their position, i found him!
i was his photographer that day... again.

all in their company position.
diffcult to spot them eh?
i know where's Jacob is...
(he's the center amoung the flag poles!)

this is what i meant jus now by literally passing out.
poor guy (s)
-there was another one.

best in whole company pple.
b o r i n g

Marching off to take off their gear and they will come back later.
while they were marching.
i was soooo frantic to find his co. and him!
and when i spotted him.
he smiled at me... that smile really made my day!!!
that was really sweet although its jus a simple smile.
thinking it back now, its still melts my heart. :)

After they took their route march gear and
fall back in on the parade square.
we are allowed to go over to him to put his recruit jockey cap back on him!
ahhh... that's of cuz his mother's job.
not me... im jus a g.f.

Auntie and Jacob!
Motherly love!
dunno why baby looked so reluctant.
haha...
i guess your tired. poor baby.

my turn my turn!
:) i'm here for you darling!
my baby so handsome =D

i love this picture!

Darren... his erm... ownself-claimed as Jacob's gay partner. *grrrr
and that's Darren's mom.
and baby with his funny yet adorable expression.
- i know u cant wait to kiss me. haha!

Darren and Jacob with Whisky's platoon in charge - i think

After that we have to go back to our seats.
they fall back in uniformly and then...
hell break lose!
W H A T T H E ?

wow?
where u guys running to?

oh. chey.... jus running to "THERE"

they made alot of ROAR sound while running.
sounded quite spastic.
haha... loud mass of manly army boys voice roaring...
woooo... actually kinda sexy.
HAHA !

came up to cheer for themselves as well as their graduation.
baby looked so adorable... wait.. can u even spot him? haha!
he's so serious that he didnt even bother lookin at me! :(

heh... he's at the far right, center of those 2 sergents!

wah... act serious sioh..

i think i miraculously took this magnificent picture that
many pple couldnt enticipate fast enough to snap it.
weee... flying caps not spaghetti monster anymore.

My baby and his close bunk mates.

the best of all co. platoons

he and i dunno who.
oppps

us!

heh...
During the 12 'freedom' days,
we had whale of a time doin many things together!
we had movies, dvd sessions, majong, singing, guitar lesson, shoppings, jogging, swimming, roller blading, catching sunrise at ecp along with his ai xin breakfast, falling aslp in the attic and dinner with both of our families.
jus lack of the safari night that he promised me.. sighh :(
i was kinda moody as well during the days too and i dunno why.
jus something bothering me.
sigh.

perhaps is that i dread the day that he's gonna be away again.
but i really keen in meetin my baby everyday.
i couldnt bear to waste anytime doing any other thing else.

i love you sweet.
i'll be there for you.
i promise.

my honourable suicide notes
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Monday, September 01, 2008

"puppy love"

been working for 3 weeks now.
glad that im workin actually even thou the fact that its a temp job.
well, at least im earning than to stay at home doin nth.

my sis's dog, Kiki (suzu breed), gave birth to five adorable puppies a month ago!
and awkardly, all of them are males!
how unlucky actually.
all brothers, no sisters :(

my sis brought back home for my mom and i for some cheap amusement.
haha... it does the trick well as they made us going craxy for more den an hour.
especially my mom.
her non-stop whining of their cute-ness.
they jus opened their eyes a few days ago.
still very vulnerable and weak.
they cant walk at all, they crawl around or perhaps i shld say try to crawl around (cuz they looked more like mopping the floor with the legs struggling to move up and down)
they are so adorable i must say!!!

they will grow up pretty quickly with time, progressively growing while they are asleep.
so baby and i were making the best time out of it playing with those cuties while they are still helpless.
HWAUHWAHWAH!!!

dont they resemble guinea pigs?
apart that they are more adorable. woot!

my baby and the baby. haha...
the puppy seems rather disturbed by my baby...
somewhat like saying "dont disturb me la..."
so cute right!!! i mean my babyboy.
HAHA!

they are hunger for nipples.
they WILL suck whatever is placed infront of their mouth.
my baby thumb was 'THE NIPPLE" then.
HAHA !!!

my baby is giving him a head massage.
see how much the puppy is enjoying it. =D

its all about 'puppy' love!

NOW IS MY TURN!
=D

heh!
i think i randomly carried out one of them
*EVIL LAUGH - now you are helplessly in between my leg. see how u escape!
=.=

he's a very fortunate pup as he has a meinu to pamper him
and give him full body massage.
ahh... so shiok it must be. ;P

it fell into deep slp la!
so cute.
come on, gimme a high 5! *tap its paws

so cute right!
slping so soundly on comfy dress and legs.
this can be a wallpaper!!... my dress prints are jus simply awesome.

it looks pretty much like a doll eh?
i meant the pup duh.

anyway, im not intending to keep any for myself.
it looks cute and whatsoever.
but it aint the kinda of breed i like.
personally, i preferred much bigger dogs den suzu.
and definately love a slightly more hyper active and obedient one.
like one of Jacob's dog. Nali. :)

here 's Nali!
i know she looks rather big, but she really obedient.
she listens to me even thou im not the owner.
oh.. she's was found on the streets.
hence they named her " na li "
in chinese means "where"
cool eh.

and i dont think i'll have the patience and time needed to rear a dog properly.
maybe when the times come which im more qualify to give the dog all the love it needs,
then i'll consider of getting a dog or a cat for myself.
being a pet owner comes with many responsibility and love
but come to think of it.
im a person that is always out, out and out
how to?
oh wells.
still early to say... do

pets are not the priority for me now... yet or not.
i guess if i want to try out the feeling of owning a pet,
i can always take care of jacob's dog for some trial training
:P

ANYWAY!
i shall end this post with this...

" OH MY! SUCH A BIG HAIRY . . . . ."

HAHA!

my honourable suicide notes
-

Monday, August 18, 2008

let me rant

Me, Huikee and Marilyn and with a few other frens hit the clubs on last sat.
double o and o bar.
W O A H.
the moment im in there, i felt so alien-ish

jus wasnt the usual feeling like i used to feel.
was feelin very much uncomfortable den " YAY!! ITS PARTY TIME" feeling.
that night was a total cock-fest
full of asscrack army boys or i assume them to be
one word : Y A C K
major turn off. seriously.

a usual norm lame guy thinks that club is where a infamous place where any guy whether he, himself is cannot make it, ugly or simply jus fcuked up could still easily hook up girls. any girls.
W R O N G P E R S P E C T I V E P L E A S E
i guess cant blame them cuz they are naturally born to think THAT way. ANY way. WHATEVER way they think its right.
likewise they think they own the biggest gun.

imma gonna rant again about boys.
yes, Christina havent post her famous "anti-male" species post for a very long time.
dont ask me why im diggin this up again,
i jus feel like ranting about males/boys after that night.
THEY DISGUST ME - referrin to those snobbish male indivdual.
( to guys : if u are unhappy with this post of mine. CONGRATS! you jus self-admitted to be one of those disgusting chauvinist males out there. If not, u wouldnt have anything to be angry at cuz u are not one of them )

hmm..
ASK ME WHY IM SO YEEEEW ABOUT THEM.
QUICK! ASK!
nvm...

anyway, i did not do anything unfaithful to my dearest baby boy Jacob.
is true! this is "ripley's believe it or not" (RANDOM)
i miss him like hell can!
getting intoxicate with alcohol is definately a wrong decision as it added on more fire to my misery.
everytime when some chap or chaps came along and tried to get fresh or make frens with me
im get very annoyed. cuz its like DONT U BLOODY HELL GET MY CLEAR CUT HINT THAT I BLOODY HELL WANT YOU TO GO AWAY!!!

firstly, was 2 males
one tried to dance with me even thou ive shown no interest.
attempted to put his arm on my waist but fail.
FAIL!!!!!!!!!! why? cuz i shoved them away when i felt a ini tibsy being touch feeling
after awhile, his frens came and ask

"do u mind dancing with us?"

"no, sorry im not interested" straight back to their face.

*continue dancing.

another one sickening boy stick to my suddenly like glue.
jus imagine. a paper stick to u and u nv move cuz u very pek chek and jus stare at him.
jus imagine.
den jab him hard on his chest and stare at him stright to his face and he still dont get it.
ARE U STUPID OR BRAINLESS OR U ARE JUS BORN WITH LOW EQ/IQ OR WHAT?
so we decided to change place and went a few metres away.
HE CAME BACK LIKE A PAPER THAT UNFORTUNATELY GOT STICKED TO U.
*roll eyes.
so we change place again.
and thanks god that there's still some EQ left in that poor stupid guy.
he's a pain on my skin. my poor skin.
:(

another one while i was waiting for Huikee outside the smoking area.
the guy beside me spoke to me with a OMFG act tone!!!
in his forceful 'act sexy' low voice "you are not here alone by chance arent you?"
i shirked into my pathetic corner and said no + roll eyes and face the darn wall.

another was quite alright.
a group of boys
they asked one of their female friend to come over and ask us if we wanted to make frens.
i said "im not interested" and kept looking at Huikee hoping she would do something.
but nth!! Huikee jus stared back to me T_T
She still continue to pester us to go over and funny part. even ask me am i malay!?!?
==.== what is it gonna do with race? racist sia they all. tsk.
her persuasion continued, which i end up telling her " im sorry but i'm attached"
Huikee dont seems interested at all too... except for the snowcap guy cuz she keep whining, calmin that he's cute and want to know him. (very cute meh?!)
she went back however came back again after awhile.
saying they still wanna know us.
im dumbstrucked and jus stared and Huikee.
TO MY SURPRISED!
huikee dragged me over and said " jus make frens lah"

okay loh.

shake hand. exchange name.
woo... can make it one sia. tall and musculer.
when we are about to leave for some drinks,
one guy named Alan want my number!
:s

of course . . . . i give to him not!
HAHA...

for what.
my heart is filled and overflowing with love.
no need more.

after which we club hop to MOS to find Huikee's bro and his fren.
both are from Air force. cool right.
nt interested.

MOS is as mundane as double o.
im so over clubbing period.
i wan to go out and run around under the sun.

:(

i friggin miss my baby :(

3 more days!

I WANT MY

JACOB LIM

FANG YAO

NOW!!!

:(((((

my honourable suicide notes
-

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Chi's very belated birthday celebration!

had been workin at ERA as personal assistant for the past 3 days

My boss is the Senior Marketing Manager called Mandy

she's young and amazingly pretty.
learned quite alot of things in jus 3 days,

hope there will be more ahead.
office work is kinda draining for the mind
as i sat there,
my tailbone starts to pain relapse again.

(my old injuiry due to a fall while roller blading)

Mandy told me that women is prone to have alot of problems more on the pevis area
She told me not to sit too long at the same position for too long,
advised me to stretch and move around after awhile.
she's so nice and caring!

after work,
went down to AMK's Fish & Co. for Chi's very belated birthday celebration with her and some of my sec sch frens
HAHA!
Simin is so funny... i havent seen her for like since sec school.
and surprisingly she still recognise and remeber who am i.
the first thing she said to me is " haiyo.. you very pretty leh, i cant recognise u"
--.--
i dont think i am but thanks anyway! heheh

Chi today dressed up pretty and first time i see her accessorized!
She can live by days with or without accessorizes
but my case, i will die without them as i'll feel very bare and naked.
is like a woman without her bra!

hahaha...

havent been posting up group pictures man... finally!

my face looked swollen at my left side is becuz i'm eating a friggin big sweet which ive placed at the side. Carven looks like she is giving off some sort of radiant aura.

Top: Me, Chi, Carven, Jolene, Chiwei!
Bottom: Simin, Beatrice and Minhui!

i had alot of fun talking to them even thou we dont really met up at all.
it's jus so hilarious joking about almost everything nonsensical.
i love this kinda days.
:)

P.s: Hope you like the present that i ( and Jacob) gave u

my honourable suicide notes
-

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

furball

WAH LAU

DAMN CUTE

CAN!!!!
remind me of my pudding :(

he's a british guardman

i dont know if he's lazy or scare

my honourable suicide notes
-

Monday, August 04, 2008

Seasons In the Sun with TP HOCKEY!

here's my bunch of craxy ass girls from tp hockey.
they join the Dove Shower Ok contest.

watch them singing alot silly-ly!!!!
so cute... how i wished im still in poly.
there are
Jasmine Seah (vice cap) , Png Sim Phuy (the handsome) , Lee Jia Zheng, Tay Wei Ying, Grace Tsang Yung Xin (my chiwawa), Candice Ho

its so nice of them to name it TP hockey.
:D

please please please help me vote this video
please!!!
thanks pple!

:)

my honourable suicide notes
-

Friday, August 01, 2008

why so serious?

this may take u quite awhile to get what i meant...
omg..
i bet you gonna laugh ya head off when you finally get it.

well lets see...

hmm.. batman poster?
what so funny about it?
it jus a well done poster with fantastic cg and artwork.

come on...
look harder...
there's something very very wrong (and funny) about this
.
.

still dont get it?
you sure u dont wanna give it another look carefully?

still cant figure out what's wrong with the darn poster?
.

alright, here's the hint

nth wrong still?
.

if you were batman...
what will u be looking at..

the skyline of the city?

or

the window frame?

i bet you are laughing now.
i didnt realised it either until i saw it on some design forum.
this is friggin balls funny.

hahaha...
and one more think
the reflection of him and the cityscape on the floor is like totally wrong.

WAHAHAHA...

joker : why so serious?
(that's why all the funny mistakes in here)

my honourable suicide notes
-

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

keys

baby called me this afternoon and said somethings that is pretty surprisingly delightful
he was asking me about how did my interview this morning
so i was telling him... it pretty interesting etc
Hence he was telling me to do try out stuff to improve my skills since ive nothing much to do
i did sometimes when i feel like it and ive tried some stuff which i like but my computer jus couldnt support like dealing with 3D as my com memory is runnin low
so he suggested me to use his computer instead.
den im like wth... !? how i use.
he said jus go over his place and use.. without him around.
isnt that weird!!!
like i go his place... hi uncle.. go up his room and use com.. as if its my house.
its so obnoxious!
so he continued and said there not much pple his house
mom in the states
bro would only be home at night
maybe jus his dad... but most of the time there's nobody.
so im like... so how i am i gonna go in. i fly in?
den he said " maybe i get u a set of key or something"

I AM EXCEPTIONALLY STUNNED

a set of keys for me to his house!
just for me!

*going crazy

im going haywire because i didnt think this would happen.
baby trust me so much ? (ah... muacks muack to you!)
we have be together for jus close to 5 mths and
this kinda thing came out from you ( as if we have been dating for years... omg )
its sweet, but i doubt i am taking the idea.
its jus so rude... and wrong...

its sweet darling, its really nice of you :)

baby...
why havent you call... it's 930pm.
im waiting like usual

my honourable suicide notes
-

Monday, July 28, 2008

I know that, you'll be right back boy

had an interview in the morning at 9am with Touche Design.

SO EARLY...

tml there's another one... at the same time =.=
im late for 5 -10 mins :S
it went pretty well i guess.
the office is situated at geylang near lor 3.

i know i know, you must be thinking.
"GEYLANG?!" cuz it occured to me too.

but think the other way, im surrounded wit good food everyday.
oh my.. not very good either... ahaha
the company specialise in 2D, more on print.
which is what i am comfortable and good with.
it would be great if im selected as overrrall, the working envt seems adaptable and comfortable.

i want to work and save money! as well as "yang" somebody.
hahahahah!

oh well...

i work on last Friday at the offical opening of T3 event
pretty fun and great/funny experince as i got to walk behind Mr Lee Hsien Leong

got kinda close to him that his bodyguard stared at me :S

All those pple there are rich buggers.
i want to be one of them! zzz

while working, i kept counting down the hours till 6pm.
becuz.. my baby coming back from tekong!
after work, i rushed down to meet him at tenah merah mrt.
it's been 16 days that i havent seen him at all which awkardly evokes a weird mix feeling inside me.

when i first sighted him - in his smart4, dark skin, seems to be slimmer, and his short hair. he stood there waiting and looking at me.
i jus ran up to him afterwhich the stirring weird mix feeling jus dissolves away by e overwhelming happiness upon seeing him.
I am simply jus really happy to see him... well and safe.

spent rest of the time with him.
watch over and pat him to sleep. so cute.
like a toot. hahaha...

Unfortunately,

my macho baby went back to that "the land of GOODBYES" again (and more agains) as i await on this "freedom" island for his return.

which is ON SATURDAY.

so sad.. how sad.. very sad..

i can only like spend a night with him and the following day he's booking in already!
seriously, army need to give a tot for those NS men.

i understand they are training

BOYS INTO MEN...

and MEN INTO SOLDIERS...

and SOLDIERS INTO ...

WHATEVER LAHHHHHH

I DONT CARE!!!!!

( i respect that its all well for our country as well as the people)

however so, they are like taking out 2 years of their life.
jus like that ... POOF!

im like spending 4 days with him in a month.

WTH IS THIS.
cuz army let them out so late... den bring them in so early.

sigh... some guys dont even have the time to spend a decent day with the family.
they should make a strict rule that full days of the Saturday and Sunday are for the family and love ones, and Mondays for booking in.

Let those who are regulars or confinement ones stay in to keep stuff in order.

hmm... nice plan?

baby said that -

" how could you said you are waiting for me... waiting is like not doing anything, jus merely waiting."

"but i am waiting for you to come out what, at the same time finding a job. This isnt call waiting?"

"not really... you are not waiting."

"OKAY... I AM NOT WAITING FOR YOU."

this is him! with his new guitar-lele which he brought over to camp.

"this is what you get when somebody is tryna take a pic of you
and you jus couldnt stop talking"

how cold can he get.
he's a dumb dumb as when i said wait.. it obviously refers to me waiting for him to come back by my side as he's the one and only that i really want to spend most of my time with now. Missing him every moment... so much so that he appeared in my dreams frequently.

how sweet you must be thinking.
noooooooooooo way.
cuz it seems that im always the one missing him!!!
ARGHS!

i actually would rather not to miss anyone cuz the feeling is too horrible

yes, he is toot and a dumb dumb.
but he still will

'always be my baby'.

hey sweet,
dont worry as im always your good baby girl.
Smile more willya? for me?

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
Noooohoh!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry noooh
And I won't beg you to staaaay
If you're determined to leave booy
I will not stand in your waaaay
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end nooooh ooohh

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back boy
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time
Of time!

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (and we will linger on)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong (ohhhh)
No way you're never gonna shake me (oh baby)
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (you and I will always be)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby
(You & I)
(You & I)
(You & I will always be! )

You and I will always be
No way your never gonna shake me
No way your never gonna shake me
You and I will always be

my honourable suicide notes
-

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

cleaning the blogwebs.

i havent touch my blog for some time, and its time to update it.
wow, i really dont know how to start.

how about life...
life?
still same? same as in mundane or maybe its getting more depressing for me
life in school was much more exciting.
things changes thruough phases of life, in everyones'
and this is my time where i have to venture alone out into the merciless world to battle in order to grow stronger.

im metaphorically saying about getting to work.
well, i have been soughting a suitable job for sometime.
and finding a job is aint a easy 'job' either. get my irony?
Since graduated from sch, ive been to 3 interviews.
Maybe i am picky over jobs, maybe they just doesnt suits me.
well, i am the one have to deal with it for a whole long more time as im the one working anyway, i guess i have the choice to seek for what i like?

oh well...
tml is my forth interview.
:S

i have never had this
"IVE ENOUGH FUN, I WAN TO WORK NOW"
feeling before.
now im tasting it and it made me feel like a dull grown up. --.--
geesh

Anyway, baby left me on the 9th July off to that well-known torturous land of dicks and hairless creatures, where its self-claimed as " where boys become MEN" or perhaps i call it "the land of GOODBYES".
alright, im being a sacarstic ass here.
it was my first time there along with Jacob's dad. 0.0
Jacob's dad was a SIA pilot, and amazingly he doesnt resemble one from any angle. haha... BABY SAID THAT TO ME TOO! HOR!
that tour took friggin 4 hrs... and i end up sleepin in the audi as i am not interested in any other thing else except my baby. Be it even though the fact that i am surrounded by strong well build and dark man or men or boy or boys.
i am so not interested at all... hahah!

had the 'last lunch' tgt and all of them hve to fall in.
had a quick hug and a goodbye kiss.
At that moment, i couldnt bear to see my baby go!!!
jus keep looking at him amoung the others irritating taller boy blockin my view...
GO AWAY LA!! aahah....
after which i "followed" him walking with the others to the parade square,
stupid baby dont even know or looked for me de! :(
while im sitting awkardly with Jacob's dad in the ferry.
i felt so lost and empty.
i left my heart on that "land of GOODBYES" with one current burned botak
:(

this coming friday,
baby is coming back to "freedom island" back by my side, along with my heart.
LOVES!

I JUST CANT WAIT!!!

my honourable suicide notes
-

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

be a you tube freak

omg, i dunno how to say this
but if u are a total you tuber-fan
you'll know weezer is extremely wicked to include all the famous video from you tube.

i'll jus explain why.
becuz they include many famous or most watched you tube vid inside their official pork and beans song vid.

the first one is from the FAMOUS GUITAR GUY that plays canon in D rock.
looks familier? if u see properly properly, its a scene from his bedroom. cool eh?

then, is the stupid staring back weezer and the japan girls.

follow on by this clumsy falling kufung black guy.

then, the COKE + METHOS experiment.

this vid also had some random cartoon? that i dunno

the T shirt thingy is to represent the guy/girl that train themselves within a period of time and take pic of themselve everyday. Search it and u'll know what i m talking about.

this blonde and crying guy.... i forgot abt his name... but he's pretty famous about imitating celebrity's gossips and acting out his/others sacarstic opinions. I think that vid is the re-act vid of "leave britney alone"

a hot girl from Miss ??? (ive no idea)

with light sabers? yea, there's pretty lots of light saber vids in you tube but not with a hot babe. ahahaha

after which a fat guy singing? WHO THE HELL IS THAT ?

3 boys dancing to soulja boy. YAY, ive watched that too.

which after that show the famous "evolution dance" video by this comedian. YAY MAN!

a black teen singing? i nv seen b4.

then the camera angle changed and show as if its like a piano tutorial. Many piano tutorial in you tube.

and showing of 2 hands - the DAFT PUNK MTV! hahaha...

den this girl wearing colour socks!
she's quite famous... i forgot about her name
but she talks about things and opinions on you tube.
you can even post Qs to her and she will video reply u.
many pple watch her but not in sg i think.
her video is like always more then 5 millons.
she's hot man!

after which show a drag?
i forgot the vid title too but its about shoes... its kinda stupid.

then all comes together.. and u can see all things from you tube...
Miss ??? grinding things together in the grinder... is to represent " CAN IPOD GRIND"
and if u are attentive enough. LOOK BEHIND HER!
my all time fav you tube vid.
CHARLIE AND THE CANDY MOUNTAIN!!!
hahahahaha!!

watch it!

i realised im sucha you tuber freak after watching this.

my honourable suicide notes
-

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Please tell me youll be brave

I LOVE MY BABY JACOB LIM FANG YAO

i must say that time really flies
its been 2 months and seriously it felt longer.
both of us felt the same way.
silly baby. silly us.

i really enjoy and cherish every single moment with him.
whatever we are doin and wherever we are.
be it quarreling or simply jus being for there for each other.

we have had our problems initially.
it was really a big deal for me as it'd affected me
luckily, we are able to handled it.

in days when my child side takes overs
he's so understanding and patient
and when he's a child, that will be my time to be likewise
frankly, i really appreciate how patient is he to me.
:)

we have our differences
and we know that.
we've come to a understanding to curb the differences
therefore, now.
we are enjoying every moment!

i'm glad that i've replied ya mail in __
if not i wouldnt have found u!
HAHA!!!

and baby,
i know trust takes a lifetime to build
and takes seconds to destroy it.
i know u dont enitrely trust me yet
and neither do i
but still, most importantly is the present that matters.
you know that i love you.
:)

i am sure that happier days awaits ahead for us

i love u, my one and only baby boy

check those eye bags! baby, we need slp!!!!

we looked kinda malay liked.
oh gosh.

" When this cold world comes between us,

Please tell me youll be brave "

- Bon Jovi song: lie to me

my honourable suicide notes
-

Sunday, May 11, 2008

it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

i didnt know short short flims can be so amazing.
jus check this out.

this short film is under "futureshorts" in you tube.
however is produced by Blue tongue Flim
(http://www.bluetonguefilms.com)
Directed by Nash Edgerton

Under the "Futureshorts"
there's many amazing short flims.
go and check it out!

the one im showing made me swallowed my throat
and made my jaws wide apart.
another spendid short flim!

"Spider"

so remember!

" it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. "

my honourable suicide notes
-

Thursday, May 08, 2008

guys are like pimples - useless

omg.

this is an thai advertisement on Facial Cleanser
They took a whole different art direction for it by revolving the product with a love story
it have many series like dramas.
so i think if it gonna target metropolis like singapore
the ads would cost a bomb, not very versetile eh.
and i dont think it portray the keys of the product effectively
however it does make a serious impression to the market.
i think its brillant!!! and i love it.
its like a short love movie.

watch it or you'll regret it!

and what a metaphor to describe guys!
"they are like pimples - useless"

haha... so girls out there.
if u ponder on any good for nothing guys, they are jus like pimples!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAA
and i think the guy with the centapid tattoo is friggin cute.
>.<

my honourable suicide notes
-

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

i'll hold my head up high

it was a tough week for me last week. (even now)

relationship problems
parents problems
money problems
emotion problems

why am i facing so many problems?
Especially from you?
thing for both of us jus seems to get worse
why is this happening?
i dont understand.
i dont get you.
and he still dont get it too.
nor is he trying to make things better.
it seems that he's not doin anything at all.
no effort.
no action.
no shit man.

i did nothing wrong from the start at all.
so what if now im not wad i used to anymore?

you made me this way.

you made me feel miserable (everyday, and it getting worse)
you made me feet unappreciated
you made me feel like a spare tyre
you made me feel that im not loved by you at all
you made me feel jaded
you made me feel numb
you made me have thoughts.
you made me not to love u like i used to anymore

your reasons are jus absurd and ridiculous.

im not commiting much anymore
its just seems so pointless for me
cuz shit is wad i get in the end.
i deserve this?
what for right?
whatever you said or promised apparently are paradoxal
none i got from you.

im so tired
i feel so lost
i snapped
i need my escapism.

i met up some hock folks last fri at sucha odd time
midnight.
i was really unhappy whole day
i couldnt smile genuinely.
my heart and mind are in sucha drag for me to take
life jus feel like death to me.
i need accompany
i need to go crazy
hence, i went all the way to sk to find them
Jojo, Corny, Shark (came down after his drinking), Daps, and Suhui.
i seriously wanna thanks Jojo and Corny.
i appreciate what you guys did, simply for the sake to make me happy.
i was really happy that night.
thanks you all.
i missed those time where i feel that ive no probs nor anything to worry abt
all we ought to do is to broad about what is fun to do.
simply jus have fun!
we were bad ass punks that night.
all geared up
with rollarblades, skateboard, scooter, haro bike and mountain bike
drunkard Shark riding like a loose lunatic
Corny complaining and whinning at practically everything
Jojo acting cool and his phoney jokes
Daps smiling silly-ly at everything
Suhui making Jojo look like a stupid dork
and me, scolding and controlling all the guys
not forgetting my ultimate laughters
i was so happy that night.
played blind catching on the neighbourhood feet massage pebbles.
Jojo suggested it.
and ah! i wan more!
sooooo frigging fun!
unfortunately something happened
my phone was in my pocket.
i fall and landed on it
the screen cracked.
great...

"sucha good deal, thanks god!"

im like so --.-- over it
and Jojo goes, at least u had a great time uhhh?
yeah, i did. phone cracked?
ahhhh... i guess nvm la (for now)
if something that can be solved by money.
its not really a problem isnt it?
but here's the problem.
where i get the money?
hahaha....

zzz this time i still can joke.
oh wells.

you asked
"will you really be better off without me"
would you?

here's a song im dedicating to all the friends that appreciate & love me for being who i am
and those that showerd me with care and concern.
those who stood by me.
i never knew i have friends that worried and hate seeing me unhappy
i'm really happy to know
i never knew.
but i do now.

guys, i know what im doing.
dont worry.
let me hang on.
:)

Escape the Fate - Friends and Alibis

sorry, they dont have music vid for this either :(

Oh, I hate to be the one to bear the bad news
Yes, it is true
I finally fell in love
I fell so hard that I'm killing myself
Yes, I need help
Out of this grave that I've dug

And all the friends that I have gone through
And how much I deserve the pain
It's a shame

So hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night

Oh, they always told me I was gorgeous in a way
And that fateful day
I found who I was
So fill this hole with my prescriptions
I just keep feeding my addictions

And all the friends that I have gone through
And how much I deserve the pain
It's a shame

So hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night
We will have our night

You were the ones that stood by my side, whoa
And I was the one that fought all of your fights

(Hold your head, hold it up high) Whoa
(Keep this close by your side) Whoa

So hold your head
Hold it high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night

Hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night

Hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night
We will have our night

my honourable suicide notes
-

Friday, April 11, 2008

Escape the Fate - reverse this curse

crap-felt
a song that kinda describe me
by
Escape the Fate - Reverse this Curse

they dont have music video for this song :(

A withered past and a blurry future,
My hearts on an auction,
It goes out to the highest bid.

I live to fast, and I know I will lose her,
But there is an option, to die is to live in her head.

So I'll hang on, never let go.
I dug this pain into my chest.
It's dead
[Chorus:]

One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first.
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose, so let me tell you the truth.

A deadly wish but it should've come sooner,
A corpse in a funeral that I would never attend.
There is a light on in the back of this house,
But you're not around, to die is to live in her head.

So I'll hang on, never let go.
I dug this pain into my chest.

[Chorus:]
Instead,
One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first.
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.

So, this goes, out to, the ones that fall in love,
And to, the girl, that filled my heart.
Last night I had the weirdest dream,
That you and I drove up the darkest streets,
Passing through these city lights,
Closure for the kiss that died.

One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first,
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.

One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first,
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.

(whisper) This goes
Out to
The ones that fall in love
Into the cold
That filled my dark (heart)

my honourable suicide notes
-

Thursday, April 10, 2008

what's wrong baby

i had a horrible day
i totally hate it.

and i tot it was suppose to be special and everything
but it wasnt even halfway there, not even abit
it was our one month annivesary yet it felt like it was the mark of our first quarrel
actually wanted to give him something but i changed my mind.
jus not feeling right today. i guess i was right

he said things that made me think otherway about him
things that made me hesitate to love him
things that made me not to believe fully him anymore
things that made me love him less
things that made me regret getting into a relationship
things that made me feel that im jus a pitstop to him
things that made me want to give up everything
things that made me feel that we dont belonged together

and this is the reason why i dun like to talk abt it alright
because i wanna love u without any doubts nor hesiatation
unfortunately so, after today... i found myself with many.

i hated u today.

i wasnt able to even give a genuine smile the whole day
i havent have this feeling for a very long time
- the feeling of sadness that really bothers me
and it really does.
its seriously making me feel like jus giving up everything
and becoming my oldself again
its not jus feelings.
i have thought of it. silly i know but i did.
i dont wanna get too hurt.
but i tell myself that its jus a thought,
dont get old scar get to u Christina.
there's always space for something better, maybe he is the something better
let the stupid thought go.

problems seems to lies only in me over a quarrel
he only care about himself, his own thoughts, his feelings, his point of view
where's mine?
he nv even try to understand mine at the end of the day
he did but jus only the surface
he dont understand me

:(

we have our own ways of handling problems
i know that avoiding problems are wrong but
i dont like the feeling of being worried almost everyday
i deal with it much later in the day so it wouldnt spoil my mood which i could have a great time with
when im upset, i like being quiet
(pple, im always quiet when im upset isnt it? if not i flare dont i?)
cuz i dont wanna quarrel or come up with unreasonable stuff that i could or usually do
i jus want myself to shut up to prevent anymore damage to us
i dont like to talk much cuz when im upset, i couldnt think properly and tackle the problem.
im better talking to frens and texting.
words jus gets stuck at my throat when i wanna pour them out

but im really sorry that i text my fren and listen to music in our midst of the stupid arguement

i jus felt he's so different lately
or after when he's back from the States

different in everyway
my heart tells me so
the look in his eyes, actions, the words he said
especailly "i was jus too ____ to love"
it made me feel like shit cuz i've given my best to you
i guess the chinese saying is true -
"havent got u, treat u as treasure. got u , treat u like shit"
even thou we stopped the quarrelling or cold war whatever shit
he didnt even ensure i was feeling alright or wadeva.
it was me.

"are u alright"
"are u still upset"
"dont be... im sorry alright"
"i dont wan to fight no more"

he didnt even try like...

"why is that so?"
"baby dont be sad too"
"i am so sorry about that . . . . "

nooooo
none.

i just dont like being unhappy. or tooooo unhappy
i like living carefree and laughing at everything
is that wrong? :(

didnt have any proper meal today
havin slight headache now.
like usual if i go without meals
i dont have much appetite today

even now i am home

alone

i jus feel really sad.

i'm
sad, confused, distraught, lost, annoyed, upset and lonely.

yes.

i am feeling lonely
i needed someone but i dunno who to turn to.
so i turned to my blog.

i cant feel him lately.
stranger
i just wished to know whats wrong

i feel so shit.
i tried all means to make him happy
sacrifices of friends, time, family trust, lifestyle
all i get in the end is me feeling so shitty about it

im starting to feel like drifting away.
apart from both of us are drifitng away
partly because i wanted to
partly because he made me feel like to
partly because i dont want to be the one putting in all the effort

i wasnt able to get myself to sleep at all
there is jus this irritating pain that lingers around my chest
i wonder how bad would it gets if it was later.
ive no mood to do anything but here.
:(

i would want to love u endlessly or i did
but u made me feel like stopping.
im not going to initiate much as i use to anymore
i think im giving u too much
i felt that i am taken for granted

but however so
i love u dearly still

my honourable suicide notes
-

Saturday, April 05, 2008

meow

how adorable!
watch more of them at your tube!

Simon's Cat 'Cat Man Do'

my honourable suicide notes
-

xoxo - gossip girl , Christina

i just finished season 1 of gossip girl
and i caaaaaaaaaaant wait for season 2
oh my god.. its soooooooo gossipy
alright.

the show does sound bimbotic,
i do agree cuz i felt this way too.
and if u mistake me as one bimbo
means, u dunno me at all
but other than the bimbotic title.
the storyline is jus so JUICY

scandals are so messed up which is kinda heart wretching if it does happens to us
the character are suppose to be 17 but they werent acting or supposingly act like one.
they jus seems so adultish or seems to be at the age of ours, twenties
i think the hottest guy is

NATE ARCHIBALD

trust me, he looked really hot in the show.
pictures? naahh.. haha

and number 2 is CHUCK BASS!
omg... i jus kinda drool all over my keyboard.
ahahaahaha!
(more i look at him, the more handsome he gets... oh my!)

but the sweetest guy is DAN HUMPHREY!

the thing he does not really impressive
but it is they things he says. jus soooooooo awww... how i wished . . .

the girls are pretty bad, like good girls gone bad.
like me!

hottest girl.. hmm.. all are hot!

Serena Van Der Woodsen

BLAIR WALDORF

JENNY HUMPHREY (Dan's sister)

i dun really like her in the ending

hahaha...

alright alright
the initial part of the drama wasnt very nice thou
the story was kinda like throwing at u and u have to catch it
and i was like wondering why am i watching sucha bimbo show
due to kill time, i jus watch on for fun
however when its reaching the end is jus so nice!
seeing bestfrens fall out and got back tgt
couples broke up, realised the mistakes they commited, and cant live without each other
(still fall out thou- at the end)

seeing people in different world, accepting each other differences and falling deep into love.

all in all,
it simply sweet yet wicked.

seeing Serena and Dan togther at the last few episodes
really made me smile

(dammit! jus so sugar-coating!)

(i didnt know there's sucha way to teach pool =D)

reminded me of someone whose in the tiny little evil heart of mine

its jus resemble, dont they?
things they said to each other in the end.
its jus so coincidence to ours or hope it would be said
aaaah... so lovely

anyhow...
ONE MORE DAY TO GO!
weeeee...
met up Chi, Jason and Fai today.
Fai was acting weird today.
and i dont know why :(
or perhaps i do know somehow.
oh wells.
i guess it cant be helped

i know u love me.
xoxo

- gossip girl : Christina.

(HAHA!)

"I want time to fly now
and till i sees him.
i want it to stop"

my honourable suicide notes
-

Friday, April 04, 2008

best fall down sometimes

finally it's friday.
2 more friggin days and i can see his face again!
im so anxious.

been staying at home alot this 2 weeks.
last sat - mon and thurs was home. woah...
i realised i dont have any money to go anywhere!
and all my frens arent free. all started working
fuck i need a job too
but i wanna take 2 mths break b4 i really work.
the last day of sch was March 7
the last day of dip show.

means imma need to start work around May too
took many crazy ass pics with my design folks at dip show
althou we left sch already.
im still glad that we are still contact
like
Eulisa, Sam, Mark, Stacy, Kaireen, Matt and Am! :)
i'll post the pics other time. im lazy!

i dont know how to put this
but is a new phase of life for me now
no more school days :(
imma gonna plan to work 2 years or so
then, continue to study hopefully
these 2 years im going to save up!
i want to go overseas study if possible!!! (with him too if he does!)
if not, prolly somewhere in sg.
working really starting to scare me.
i have always dreaded abt it.
i guess i need to set some new goals from now.
im no longer a teenager soon

:( and i really hate growing up

WHERE'S NEVERLAND, I WANT TO GO THERE!!!
i want to be 15!!!!!!!!!!!!!

responsiblities responsiblities responsiblities is now i have to bear
so much things to consider
so much things to worry
no more carefree life

i have to mark myself in some place from now.
i am going to look for work after my birthday!

before that , i did went for some job interview
at Selectgroup
im not really interested thou althou they headhunted me.
what they offer doesnt interest me and main of all, its not a design house.
how am i gonna learn and benefit?
i jus dont feel good working there.
so folks, any design job offer please inform me willya?
i would love to hear from anyone!

i declared tt i am a sad girl these few days :(
cramping up at home is a killer for me
so many days! the walls are giving massive headache.
so this wad non sch life is huh?
WHAT THE CHAO CHEE BONG!
so boring can.
omg.
i cant believe i felt that fun days would come to an end
NO NO NO.

its not gonna happen on me.
i still wan to have lotsa freaking fun and cheap thrill even im older

goal is to work hard and play hard!
BAHS.
O L D E R :(

and i still dun have any idea where or how to celebrate my birthday.
watched gossip girls jus now and they had this masquerade party
its pretting intriging . not knowing who each other is

get around and party. knowing pple.
finding partners, finding your partner
dancing with boys that might not know who is it
waaahahaha.. then when strike 12, all masks have to be taken off

and u could see whose ya partner.
how surprising wonderful yet scary! ( cuz if ya partner is crap, here goes the date. ha!)
if design sch got sucha party, it will be wicked awesome!
i will go find... heh heh heh!

i cant wait for tml to come.. den Sun to come.
omg lah!
days seems to be passing so slowly
:( :( :( :( :(

SHIT U CALENDER!

hahaha...

anyway, this might be a old song.
but i like it very much!
listen close alright

HOWIE DAY - COLLIDE

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

my honourable suicide notes
-

Thursday, April 03, 2008

9th march 08

Alright Alright.
sorry once again.
"SORRY"happened in once a blue blue moon that i went MIA.
u bet, my internet was down a mth ago.

but its back now, dont fret yo.

on this faithful day on 9th of march 2008'

my fate got intertwined with someone's.

someone who felt the need of a connection between us
the connection would bring happiness along with 'us'

our acquaintance might be folly and short

but yet it felt in perpetuity

time doesn't matter

because following the heart does.
hence, loneliness never felt the same again

as our hearts arent.

He is someone. . .

who is willingly to make me happy with all he could offer
who is willingly to comfort me when i am devastated
who is willingly to be my anger emission
who wanted to be someone special in my heart
who wants me to be by his side
who wants to be my world.

(hopefully !)

and lastly,

he, who is willingly to love me endlessly.

(hopefully again ! !)

He . . . is Jacob Lim Fang Yao

He popped the Qs on this faithful day to my surprise.
and glad he did.
i was waiting for this moment honestly.
and he was seizing for the chance.
which is that day.

know how he popped the Qs?
he tricked me to it.
haha...

here's how it happened

it was the usual supper time for us,

while waiting for him i played Viwawa

he called and said he was watching tv with his dad. (something amissed i thot)

so i waited..

den he called and said he jus left hse.
after awhile...
he called again and sound friggin hectic

" PLEASE COME OUT NOW I BEG U !"

"but i'm playing game!"

" NONONO, I BEG U . please come out out down. quick!"

(frightenened) i rushed out and cancelled my mj!

walk out the stair while on the phone with him.

den i saw this pasted on the wall next to the stairs...

(he lied everything saying he watch tv with dad,
but tt's when he's on the way here to prepare!)

i go
"WHAT THE HELL!"
thinking - what is he up to... dont tell me...!
...

so i went down the stairs.. after 2 flights.
i saw this one the floor

this post-it is sticked to the floor, accompanied by 2 candles.
i blew them out and took the note. hahaha!
and i goes " orh oh..."

so i continued walking down...
saw another one too.

i kept on smiling all the way while reading all his msg,
i felt that those words were so genuine.
it touched my black heart!

after taking this note away and blowing off the candles.
i went down, while im still on the phone with him.
slowly i could hear double echos of his voice.
one from the phone, another from elsewhere.
den i saw him sitting down there with one mattress blocking a side of the stairs.
and i saw many friggin candles.
i couldnt read it first... so i went there and asked

" what is this ? ! "

den he goes -.-
u sure u dunno.
so i took another looked...

i stunned!!!

here it is

" BE MY . . . "

AINT HE SWEET!!!
this melts me instantly...

dont ask me i got cry anot! (cuz everybody ask me this Qs!!!)
i didnt! i was too shy too cry!
ahahaha..
gave him a hug. lalala...

few more days and we are gonna be a month tgt.
i havent seen him for almost 2 weeks.
He's in States, Philadelphia now.
back on the 6th.
i miss him so badly that i often get angry at myself!

" i felt indifferent from what i had before
after since i have you
from the heart to the soul
from the thoughts to the care
it is all about you to me
thou the differences, its matters none
having you it is in all
feeling the joy is all i need
my promises are voluntarily
but words are true
afflictions are inevitably too
wherever it is, i would stand by you
our feelings might be too soon
but it felt so true
having two become one
you, whose now special in my heart
i love you. "

-Christina
i am not perfect but hope its perfect for you

my honourable suicide notes
-

Sunday, March 02, 2008

checkup d exhibition clubs yo.

after my venting on my blog
i later on received a msg from him after
just a few hrs later in the morning
:D
the msg made my day. weeeeeeee...
he said he's on his way to phuket.
ahhh... i see.
his msges are like report to the Mdm Pang.
so weird. ;/

went to dental to do some check up
after which met up kew for lunch at "taiwan"
did some catching up
rushed back home and got changed
before i headed out
i gave biscuit a call
whaha... the ringing tone was totally different to Singapore's
he picked up.
i was so delighted to hear his voice but doesnt sound like him thou.
it was so soft yet he sounded very macho.
hmmm... so not him.
he told me he havent bathe for 1 1/2 days.
eeee. smelly biscuit.
hahaa... i guess its normal for bag packing
he said something very sweet which i acted blur and made him said twice
HAHAHA... cant wait for 7th march. :)
but i think he would spent tt day slping his day away.
:(

met up Matthew, Junhao, Joie, Marg and Sharon at Tanjong Pagar mrt
tt stupid siao tarbo.
damn funny.
ask me meet them at telok blangah mrt.
den im agreed to it silly-ly.
i dunno where the hell is it and Faisal called me to disturbed me
so i asked him casually.
i den realised that there's no such mrt station.
#)$#@&%@#)(%
i msged him and it was actually tanjong pagar mrt instead.
he said sound alike ma.
WHERE GOT. hahaha... tt siao tarbo.

later on we head down to duxton hill to attend our Lect photo exhibition.
Chao Chee Yong's exhibition.
shweet.

While walking there,
Sharon was like " this area is well-known for the gays"
" got dirty pubs " -- this makes me go "woooo" *eyebrows up.
ahahaha... she shown me where's Play.
Play is a well known place for gays and lesbian.
they have lesbian night and gay night
interesting eh.
she ask us to go in to see see since i didnt go b4.
she can bring us in for free
not bad. mayb i would.
gay or les night ? still considering!
heh!!!

got to Cheeyong's photo exhibition - called " 30th feb "
He's a lecturer from my school, who majored in photo.
he taught me before 'Landscape imaging' and 'Advertising & product photography' subjs
he's a awesome lect.
i like him!
fyi, there's no such date ( 30th Feb) however there's a theory and an exisiting day to it.
which will only happen in the year 4000.
jus listen to my lect speech and u will understand.
all his photos there were marvellous.
each sold for $2000.
and most of them were like SOLD.
the one i like most is the "waterfall by the hotel"
damn cool.
all are like 'DI' in the darkroom, which naturally need perfect skills
is unlike dealing with photoshop where ctrl+z is always applicable.
he's jus rocks socks.
i took a video of him making speech
:D

pardon my laughters, i know i sounded very awful! :(

the place jus got sooooo packed tt all of the (our year ) tp-ians went outside standing and waited
there were - Eulisa, Amelia, Mark, Matt, Marg, Junhao, Clarance, Joie, Ban, Eva, Sharon, Ron, Denice, Justin ong etc
chatted and took some stupid pics.
here they are!

Junhao, Eulisa, me and Matt

Listening to Cheeyong talking. hehe.
i looked inattentive thou.

Matt, me, Marg and Junhao outside the exhibition place.
quite obvious who are dress for the clubbing later. haha

after this,
we (some peeps) head on to zouk.
many pple joined us after tt.
the deign pple like - Sam, Qihao, Jon, Chai, Justin Seow, Fiona, Sally, Steph Djie
outside pple like - Anthony, forgot the name, Sam's gf and frens, etc lah!
today was Facebook event called - " very poked "
wtf. hahaha...
anywy, didnt spend the time like clubbing days.
was learning or doin the way how matt rolls when at zouk.
standing outside looking out for pple and frens.
giving out invites.
at zouk i bumped into many pple like usual.
i saw Danial Azroy ( gave him free invite) , Shawn ( apparently he always bought a zouk tix) , Watson (said hi nia.) hahaha... and one of my pri sch fren. i forgot her name so couldnt call her and Qi's wywy

was on Matt's guest list so i went into phuture free.
wahahaha... i like when i dont have to spent any money to enter clubs.
i dunno how to put it to Eulisa tt's Matt couldnt sign her in.
so when he did, she seems to be very unhappy.
im feel so bad. :(

at phuture, dance alittle while.
roll it like how matt did
i was bored for tt day.
i guess i was tired
becuz ive been walking on my heels for the past few hrs.
its like hurting me :(
stood there listening to the boring and old music
browse ard and
found 10cent on the floor.
den
found 2 free drink tix.
hahaha. of cuz i used it la.
there were many clubbing noobs tt night.
every song also woo woo woo
woo ke lan la!
so old already the song still woo.
sepak u ah! hahah...

i was jus bored and not in the mood
so left at 2
hanged out
saw Edward.
ive to siam him like a police and thief
like i went toliet i saw him, ive to hide behind the washing hands basin.
was my wrong in the past so im doin this on my behalf to please him
oh wells.
we both acted like we didnt see each other outside.
holla Fai to fetch me.

he and melvin came
damn funny.
so i ask " go where eat "
he's like go "simpang bedok"
IM LIKE " HUH, WTF ? AGAIN? i jus went there ytd leh dey"
zzz...
while on our way, and they got lost cuz they didnt know how to go.
im like " i know, it's near tanah merah mrt "
but still they got lost --.--

i guess i was kind high on alcohol
did many stupid things on his bike.
disturbed Melvin while he's riding behind us.
did the ridin gesture too.
hahaha... Fai charged acrossed a red light again.
haiyo!
he went 140 again.
shiok!

they were still lost.
evetually went to a correct road.
THANKS TO ME. hahaha..
cuz i directed him where to go.
heh. biscuit brought me there once b4
hence i know.

after supper,
went home slp.
was too tired.

my honourable suicide notes
-

Friday, February 29, 2008

U ARE AN IDIOT!

jus came back from skating
skated for 2 hrs plus ard my hood.
its been so long since i last skated.
earlier on today i went to town to collect my phone with Chi.
did some shopping
later on her ____ came.
both lovey dovey infront of me.
my heart jus goes " fuck " .
#*!$@#*!@!%@#$*

STUPID JACOB LIM FANG YAO

IM CURSING U THIS INSTANT CAUSE U DIDNT MAKE A EFFORT TO CALL OR MSG ME AT ALL!

@*$(%*@^&

IM SO MOODY NOW BECUZ OF YOU!

#)(!%(@#&%!(#^

DIDNT PARTY WITH MY LADIES BECUZ I WAS MOODLESS!

$@%*@($&%@

BUT NEVERMIND.
IM GG PARTY TML !

I HATE YOU!!!!!!

THIS IS THE 15TH TIME IM SAYING THIS.

damn pek chek with myself.
i know i shouldnt be so pissed of him cuz we are just friends.
hence, is like non of our business anyway.
right ?
i dont care. i jus wanna vent it out here!!!
ahhhh... after tml i dont care already!
imma gonna be a bad ass and party, havoc and crazed up.
go get soaked up again.

hehehe...

anywy, my mom picked us up at town and we went simpang bedok to eat.
i suggested cuz they ask me suggest.
initially i suggested Changi's nasi lemak.
but wasnt in the mood for it so i changed to the one that heartless bastard brought me to.
had my all time fav - steak, lagsania and brownie and ice cream for dessert.
heh.

i wan to do many things this week!

my honourable suicide notes
-

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Frozen Grand Central

this is just too whipping awesome!
all the 207 pple are frozen at the same time at Grand Central!
how'd i wished i was either the one frozen or simple jus be there!

my honourable suicide notes
-

100th post

finally this is my 100th post for this blog.
alright, i know its slow cuz i didnt blog as much when i started out as i thought blogging was useless.

anyway, i could shout this out loud " not exactly shout thou"

my

FYP IS FINALLY
OVER

wooohoooohooo..

i shall make a party comeback.

clubs, here i come!
pubs, here i come!
astroturf, here i come!
ECP, here i come!
SK, here i come!
malls, here i come!

woohoooOooooOooo!

all wells. although everything is over.
i felt a sense of relieved for myself that i dont have to ton and be awake for more den 24 hrs anymore until that im so used to having latenights that i dont have to rely on coffee to be awake.
that's scary.
i will definately miss design school.
Esp the pple i have always hanged out with.
babes like - Eulisa, Kaireen, Stacy, Amelia, Charlene, Sara, Sharon, Yuki etc
dudes like - Sam, Mark, Matthew, Hongwen, Boo, Justin, Qihao, Chai, Clarence, Victor etc

ESPECIALLY PPLE LIKE
EULISA KAIREEN STACY AMELIA SAM MATTHEW AND VICTOR.

OMG. i realli missed those times.
whereby we are late for classes or submission.
cursing the non design pple occupying our canteen
slacking around
dissing out pple
hanging out late in school till the guard chased as out
rushing for deadlines

man...
now its all over.
emptiness jus halts there with us.
however memories stayed within us
hope we will still keep in contact after we left school.
as inside of me.
i jus love them all.

alright. let me js briefly state what i have been thru the past few days before our subimission.

Wed 20th

at night i was rushing work at home.
have been staying home doin work for like days
im so sick of being stucked up at home that i turned grumpy at night
was talking to biscuit thru msn den on the phone
so naturally i was seriously mean to him
hahaha.. he understands, so didnt mind me beng extra mean to him

HAHAHA...
was actually wanted to meet him in the morning to have breakfast so we tonned thru the night on the phone.
however when the day turned morning.
we both were simply jus dead and wored out to get out.
so we decided to SLEEP!

Thurs 21st

stayed home to do work
met up biscuit around 230am for supper.
he drove from his hse to pick me up.
and HE WAS LOST as he took a wrong turn so he took like 45 mins to reach here.
A L R I G H T.
nvm... so i suggested 2 places to eat
Seragoon Rd or Thomson Rd
so we went seragoon road.
and he said he duno how to go there.
so nvm... i was reading the street directory and he was driving in circle.
we both were like yellin which way to go and confused.
all was so comical yet fun.
eventually we found our way... or wait... I found the way.
aahahah...
ate supper, drove back.
hanged out a little while , heard the great news from Chichi
after which a litle while more i went back home to continue my work.
T.T

Friday 22nd

do work till afternoon.
met up biscuit.
went to fancy paper. met up many friends there.
went to print at simple digital
Chichi came along.
met many friends there again.
simple digital is as if like the 2nd hometown for TP design pple.
many mistake biscuit as my bf.
ahaha... he's nooooot.
both of them chatted and poked of me being so kanchiong spider about my stuff.
not funny loh!
@#$(@&%
after my stuff...
we were joined my Chi's Mr skinny and his friends
ate and went over to bugis village to find Chi's dress.
and went home and slack with biscuit at the study corner while i do my work and he played guitar.
around 3 plus, went to have breakfast and went home.

Saturday 23rd

was suppose to wake up at 830 to do alittle of my work.
and suppose to meet up Chichi at 10am
HOWEVER SO
due to late night sleep.
i couldnt wake up.
Chi even told me she called me at 8 + or 9am.
and i picked up and replied her
" ya.. i woke up already... and wo hen qingf xing! ( i'm very awake)" in a very awaken tone
APPARENTLY... i was sleep-talking AGAIN!
i seriously dont rmb anything about tt call.
omg!
i guess i was damn figgin tired.
this isnt the first time i sleep-talk already.
oh my...
den i continued to slp till 945am she called me.
she shouted " omg, going to 10 am already!" den i jumped out of my bed and called biscuit if he's awake too and is he able to gives us a ride down to the east as we are utterly LATE!
sorry! becuz of me T.T
so he came and fetch us to his house area and we took a train to pasir ris and took a cab down to watch the SINGAPORE AIRSHOW.
well this is the first time singapore is having airshow, so i was quite eager too.
it wasnt exactly as nice as compared to the blue angels from US.
But i guess is fair enough to wow us.
i lesp like the prop planes. Althought they are much slower yet are cute as they give off the deep hollow " woooon" sound as they swirve in the air.
den after the performaces, we went to check out the planes exhibits.
awesome. my first time to walk and touch real planes.
and i was sooo itchy finger that i opened one the the US's plane toilet clean-out. (where they drained out the human waste" and IT SMELLS.
OMG.

hahaha...
after the exhibits, we have to go back by the free shuttle bus.
omg, as we walked out. i didnt expect to see like thousands of pple.
it was so friggin packed all over.
getting back jus seems so impossible.
we were actauuly pretty lucky.
we stood out there under the scotching sun and waiting like the typicals singapore and tried to get up the bus.
luckily of the the bus came and stopped infront of us.
as i got up, chichi, biscuit and her fren Weikang as lagged behind.
i was so nervous tt i will get lost.
and seriously the older pple are sucha ugly singaporean.
pushing pple and didnt care about anything except of themselves.
one of the stupid uncle was soooooo fucking asshole cheeby rude!
he stepped on the slipper and it got out from my feet.
he knows and didnt care and keep pushing me forward even thou i tried to get it.
and all he cares is to get a seat
FUCK YOU CHAO CHEE BONG!!!!!
i give way to him and luckily there this nice lady saw my slipper so she stopped and let me take it.
ah. so nice.
i waited for them at the entrance will all of them were up.
inside were serious cramped up sardines and a human-bound sauna.
like sardines in a can being heat up , prepared to be eaten.
omg. till the end of the trip. i was feeling kinda dizzy as i didnt have much fresh air.
and Chi was sooo having difficulties to stand on herself.
Lucky biscuit was there to help me and and could help her.
hahaha... all of us are being harrassed by pple behind us.
Biscuit was being "molested" by a indian guy.
Chi was being "molesting" by a fat guy ass.
and i was being " pillow-fied" by a big size person.
hahaha...

went to TM.
tried to change my CK watch to the correct size and had lunch.
found out the watch was $416. omg!
rushed to bugis' fancy paper and head went to town's artfren to get some stuff for fyp.
tried to looked for Ping's birthday present for later on party.
i walked around LIME's flea market but alas, i couldnt find anything tt suits her.
so bought her a birthday cookies from famous amous first.
i shall give her a b'lated present after my fyp is over!
met up Eulisa and Mark over at AMK interchange.
cabbed down to Ping's place.
whilst in the cab.
the cab driver was sucha pain in the arse.
it's getting on Eulisa's and my nerves.
we told him where we heading yet he give excuses saying the place very big.. near which part... so we told his the nearby location, which is where st nicholas girl sch is
den he gives exucses saying nv heard b4 and dunno where is it.
saying till it soudned like sort of blaming us for not giving good directions.

WTF.
HELLO UNCLE. YOU TAXI DRIVER LEH.
YOU GETTING PAY OR WE ARE GETTING PAY.
!*$(!@&%

and most funny thing is he didnt turned on the meter.
i dunno did he do tt on purpose so he can charge us more or what.
so eventually i asked biscuit to "remind" him.
as we reached Ping's party.

Eulisa, Biscuit, me, Kaireen and Mark/
i dunno wad the heck is Mark doing - like usual being a retard.
ahaha...

Mark ( dunno wad the heck he doin again!), Eulisa, me!, Kaireen and BIRTHDAY GIRL PING!

heh! :) Ping, Eulisa and Kaireen!
i love u all lah!

her house was decorated to the Alice in the Wonderland theme.
it was a costume party and it was marvellous.
however we didnt dress up as we all were very busy for fyp.
so sorry Ping. hoped u understand.
There was Kaireen too. its been so long since i last saw her.
anywy, is nice seeing Ping enjoying her birthday.

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY BABE!

MAY ALL YA WISHES COME TRUE AND

HOPE U ENDEAVOUR COLOURFULLY IN THE DESIGN INDUSTRY! :)

chilled out at her house for alittle while and left.
bisucit felt abit left out so i acc him thru the party.
afterwhich we went back home to do work.
me and biscuit almost fell asleep in the bus as both of us were very tired after this long and rushing day.

i realised i did alot of stuff today.
thanks to biscuit who is willingly to run ard with me like a mad person.
:)

Sunday 24th

i finally got some sleep.
slept 6 hrs.
i guess i need it as the past few days ive been sleeping very very little
or merely i didnt sleep at all.
did and prepared some work
i was damn famished as i didnt have any proper meal the day before nor today.
so i grabbed a muffine at home and headed out.
cabbed down to simple digital again to print my project.
if i total up my spending on my project.
i think ive spent $300-$400.
most of the cost are on printing as it was kinda expensive.
others are like on cab and materials.
luckily i was quite a thrifty person before so ive saved some money for my fyp.
i didnt care how much it cost. i jus wan my stuff!
Anywy, today was Carven's birthday.
i'm soo wanted to go down to celebrate with her.
but yet, i stil have to rush my work. im so sorry Carven.
i'l make it up to you alright.
anywy jus to dropped it here

HAPPY 21St BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO!

STAY AS SWEET AS EVER AND GLAD U LIKE OUR GUESS WATCH GIFT WE GAVE YOU!
:)

bumped into many pple there.
there will Sam, Chai, Amelia, Charlene, Xy, Eugene.
later on biscuit came down to find me as he said he was nearby ( dunno true anot. ahaha)
and i was very surprised!
he bought food for me!
omg. i was so touched yet i couldnt express it infront of him.
hahaha.. im shy. ( yeah riggght.)
he bought me bubble tea and Elcaire and cream puff from bread papa.
MY FAV!
the elcaire made me happy!
i gave the last bit to Sam cuz i know he's hungry and he's my best guy fren in school!
and the bubble tea was also drank by Chai and Sam.
haha.. we all were so hungry.
after which when we were all done.
we went to eat dinner and head back home to continue to do work.
biscuit acc me home.
he's leaving tml for his bagpacking trip for 2 weeks.
i wanted to give him a goodbye hug but i couldnt do so ( i shy.... yeah rigght again.)
hahaha... i am k!
regretted tt i didnt give as now im missing somebody alot already!!!
i didnt get any slp through out the night as i was busy rushing work.

Monday 25th

WOOOAH!
today is FYP SUBMISSON DAY.
man.. i was so nervous.
finally this day has come.
didnt get any sleep at all.
was so busy running around my house doing work.
rushed to simple digital to print my tag and some stuff as it wasnt i expected.
luckily my mom and uncle was able to helped me to take my stuff.
i had so much to carry.
after my stuff. rushed to school.
i reached school at 1.45
omg.
so i chop chop do everything and almost cut my finger.
pretty happy after my stuff was all up.
all my frens were there. i was helping them to time check.
everyone's work looked good. i was kinda worried for Sam if he reached already.
lucky he did. and i keep remindin pple about time.
i was like saying "230!.... faster faster" " 10 mins left!"
saying out loud for pple.
i had some help from Carmen and Stacy.
And Kaireen too! she helped me clean up my booth.
Thanks alot all the babes.
:)
after briefing.
went to had lunch with my usual folks.
i wanted to send biscuit off but he didnt want me too. :(
so i didnt get to see him for the last chance.
oh wells.
hope he could take care of himself.
and he's an idiot.
dunno why he chose this where im officially freed from work.
NVM. i still got many friends out there for me to have fun with.
hehe. i wan to go roller blading.
ANYONE?

my honourable suicide notes
-

Sunday, February 24, 2008

f. ya project!

ive been hallucinating.
see black shadow of pple, cats and jus objects.
ive been awake for more den 40hrs or more on one particular day.
wasnt feeling tired thou. :S
memory wasnt as good as i used to have.
damn blur.
so ya.. pple pls do slp well.
but now... im tired yet i cant rest as ive unfinished business.
FYP due on 25.
freedom have come.
but yet, so is my grave.
zzzz...

IM SUFFERING FROM HEADACHE NOW LAH!
my head like spinning and floating.
damn irritating.
#$(#*(#%&(....
woo , i jus saw something while beside me flew past.
not ghost la.
cuz i not enough zz.

AH. STUPID FYP.
i wan go slp now.
go eat shit la fyp.

fyp = FUCK YOUR PROJECT!

my honourable suicide notes
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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

biscuit

was kinda of emo-fied realising the differences we had.

wasnt much myself ytd

wanna just leave it

but couldnt.
we talked thing outs.
he stated the differences doesnt matter, its what we want in the end matter.
it all made sense.
i was so narrow minded.

felt so much better.

he sang to me thru msn calls and video calls again.

hahaha, like usual his fav genre - love songs.

baaahsss, it made me melts at times but most of the time very funny.
i secretly print screen some of it.
so funny.
dont kill me ah biscuit please!

hahaha...

he's laffing as i was poking fun of him. haha

he's biting his guitar pick

he's stonin, wait or acting cool

check out his guit! :D

i think im getting a webcam soon too! so can disturb each other!
HWAHAHHAAH...

my honourable suicide notes
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Sunday, February 17, 2008

free-tied?

i should not be feeling this way.
feeling much like a fool.
the past foretold much.
nth good was meant for me.
taking in too easily.
had to be wild, like im used to be.
to be free.
friends are the thing most impt
bear in mind.
to be hurt is jus so cracked up.
skipped it babe.

i maybe can do it.

my honourable suicide notes
-

V DAY!

i guess everyone would eventually had their so called perfect date or perfect day.

i had a date on V DAY!
yes. and i wanna say this BIG again

I HAD A DATE ON V DAY!

yes yes, dont see my pattern so fearsome and ruthless.
i still had some honey for some intypical bees out there.
haha.

Hence, conclusion is tt i wasnt suffering from any more v-day syndrome. :D
not jus sweet, it's seriously jus more than words.

alright.
i started my day off meetin up Chichi for lunch at tpy.
afterwhich we went to bugis met up Chi's fren Alvin.
and i have to change my dress as there's a BIG HOLE! WTF.
alas, its all OOS! :( so i had chichi to helped me sew my dress.
HOHO. THANKS HOME ECONS GIRL! :P

den off the fancypaper get some paper for my fyp afterwhich to town.
met up biscuit at somerset.
he wore dark checkered skinny jeans, a dark purple checkered button shirt.
well, he was well dressed up for date so m i k!
wooo, ive a fetish for checkereds so i think he was pretty charming.
:P

heres the silly part.
he told me tt he brought my oranges
(i left my cny oranges in his bag the first time we met up)
i seriously tot so cuz i saw the CNY orange bag.
den im like "wad for ! rotten already!.... i dont care later i wan to see u eat"
so he compromised and said he would.
and ya, like how gullible i am. i believed. -.-

as we four walked tgt.
i felt weird.
no idea why but i do.
alright maybe 3 of them are from SP and im the only TP?
NONSENSE.
its becuz IT WEIRD LAH.
#(&$(#@!^

something cartoon happened halfway down the road.
Chi beat Alvin den she goes "AHHH my stone!"
next moment u hear something dropped and
both of them looking down searching for tt tiny stone.
it made me laughed the hell out of me.
yes, we both got a similar ring a few days ago and it was a ring emblemed with a real stone.
mine was black , her was blue.
im evil so i can only have black. :(

yea, found back i fixed it and it dropped again.
this time biscuit saved it.
and i noticed the way he hold the cny orange packet was erm... different.
it wasnt round. so im like " WAD THE HELL IS THAT, ITS NOT ORANGES"
he was like shit. haha.. left in my bag but forbids me to see.
not to spoil the thrill so i didnt.
went to service my phone as it died on me.
fug man, new phone sommore.
@!$#(!&$(!#&

anywys, cutting the story short.
Biscuit made a reservation at Dans Ryan at Tanglin mall.

OMG LAH.

where the hell is tt i thought.
hahaa
im sua ku i know.
and seriously it was my first time eating with a boy at reservated seats.

OMG LAH. ( kk i sua ku again)

the ambient there is total foreign, giving off the cowboy era feel
dimmed warm lights, western vintage painted posters, wooden chairs, old bars furnished, oldies songs, and something cute is that there's a toy train going round and round above pple.
we sat in an enclosed cushion seat nxt to the wall, to my surprise.
there's a FRIGGIN BIG STUFFED MOOSE HEAD hanging on the wall next to us.
it made us goes 0.0 OMG.

i felt weird.
a date. boy. restuarant. two of us.
WAHHHHH....
my stomach was filled with crazed up butterflies but i still have to keep my cool.
while ordering food,
i didnt wan to order cuz he was paying.
i always like to go dutch but previously he msged me saying
"there's no such thing as dutch today" --- fine. -.-
i told him to order but he refuses and asked me to.
so i was eyeing on STEAK! HAHA
den as usual my eyes would go to the right, looking at where the prices are.
im like STUNNED.
so ex. dun wan! so i asked him to order
he laughed and covered the price part and asked me order.
i said anything. in the end he ordered T-bone steak.
$42 !!! ...

T.T

while eating the muffin appetizers, he said
"you can take out your oranges now"
eh? SOUND SO WRONG CAN.
i dun wan...
then next moment he said " if u dont, i'll take out your oranges"
HAHAHAHA... he was kidding of course.
that silly boy.
so i went to feel what's inside the box.
!!! watch !!!
so i took it out

OH MY FUCKING _ _ _ ( censored due to religious respect)
#&$!(#&%(!%
it was a CK watch.
wth!!!!!!!!

when opening, something stupid occured.
i opened, and i saw everything black.
so i go "nothing wad"
this made him --.-- wordless.
ahaha. it's underneath the cloth la dey.
OH YA.
i was utterly surprised by wad he chosen for me.
loud, bright and metallic. something i would wear.
i was so stunned tt i could only stare at him
and i didnt said anything at all.
the words i could only say its like " omg... huh? omg... why?"
i was too tongue-tied to say anything for quite awhile
it's so sweet yet spendthrift of him.
silly boy.

after dinner.
he suggested to go east coast park so we did.
went there, bought e33 and hooch.
sat on one of the concrete seat and played 5- 20.
its was so random and made other couples looking at us.
hahaa. i guess wad we were doin wasnt very couple-ish.
who cares!
well, i found out tt he sucha lousy drinker.
i swear! haha, i can even drink better den him.

we went above the water breaker and sat there.
Staring at the sea horizon,
breeze blew over our hair,
sea crushing beneath us,
boats lights dazzling at us...

as we sat there, it jus felt the world doesnt matter anymore.
the world felt that there were jus me and him.
seeing couples come and go.
we still jus sat there.
warming each other
lookin crossed the endless sea
sea was the only music.
and time seems to paused jus for us.

he fell aslp and i watched over him.

i never had this kinda feeling before.
he gave me what my previous love couldnt gave me - sweetness.
i cherished the time i spent with him tt night.
sweetness nv go away even thou it had past.

im falling.

my honourable suicide notes
-

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Lin's cny visit

ooops, forgotten. these are the pics we took at lin's place. still got more but tt idiotic kee didnt send me! !@%^&

i guess im the only one suit the cny theme. haha.

my sistas. love them.

miao me and kee!

stupid miao closed her eyes!

my honourable suicide notes
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cny flew past me

woohoo!

fyp is about to end however so there's still many things for me to rush.
omg.

anywys, quick update.
many things happened so drama-ly on the cny week.
this year cny was a total dragging balls.
time jus seems to past jus like that and i wasnt bothered much about cny.
as my mind was more on fyp.

1st day of cny
like always went over to ah ma place.
saw my cousins and relatives.
all seems fine.
ah bao slightly more den last year i guess,
however so im saving all those cash for my fyp printing.
T.T its costing me loads.
at night, went to zouk to partay!
well. MET FARRISI THERE!
didnt know he started working there.
and CLYDE too. hehe.
after partying, went over to seragoon for supper.
met up Max, Shark and Pradap there.
hanged out at max hse for awhile too and went back home early in the morning.
heh! :)

2nd day of cny
slept half of my day away. :(
went over to huikee's place for a short while at night.
afterwhich went over to kew hse for mj session.
woohoo.. i was so freaking stressed up while playing cuz all of them were pro.
its so longed since i played mj. i usually only play a few times a year only.
so i paired up with Kew.
i guessed i was lucky tt night.
i won $36 but have to split up with kew, so i won $18.
better den losing ! heh
After mj session.
i sooooooo dont feel like gg home.
so holla pple out.
apparently all my ladeees tt night were booked. T.T
so i holla out biscuit!
first time met him out at town for a movie and it was soooo last min.
lucky he didnt mind :)
watched kung fu bball.
storyline sucks,however thanks to starring of Jay Chuo.
it still tricked pple into watching it. ahaha
after movie. we walked back to tpy.
stupid but we did.
was quite a long journey however so we got to know each other better along the way.
i think he's pretty funny.
i enjoyed his accompany.
:)

3rd cny
went over to lin's place as her place have lion dance.
tong cheng tong cheng tong cheng!
den HUAT AH!!!!!!!!
haha... met up all my darlings there.
so happy and grateful tt our friendship have lasted this long and hopefully more to come.
i love them dearly.
i was abit siao tt day. haha.
lion danced to the rythm and Qi scolded me siao. :(
in the evening.
went over to minshan's gf party which is near my place.
OMG. got to know this guy named Jason.
he's like soooooooo fugging cute.
omg omg omg.
i didnt wanna leave the place cuz he's so cute and hot.
wait, tt was partyle the reason. i was more addicted to the mj actually.
hahaha. and he does resemble my eye candy in school.
unfortunately, he's 18. and he dont looked 18 at all.
like my age. wtf.
haha.. he's tt sort of guys for me to look at.
can see cannot touch.
wait, sound wrong. ahaha.
im not tt sort k!
made many new frens there. all of them were nice and funny pple.
at night after mj session, we drank beer and played some 5-10 games.
its was so fun.

4th cny
spent my whole day doin fyp and preparations for fyp interim which falls on the 6th cny.
how dreadful tt ive to do work during cny.
but it was inevitable. :(

5th cny
manage to catch a 2 hrs of slp from ytd rushing of work
rushed to sunshine plaza in the evening.
took a cab.
went into one of the printing shop
sent my stuff to print. den im like "where's my wallet"
so i poured everything out and no sight of my wallet!!!
OMG!
i got so anxious and helpless, i starting sobbing.
ran out of the shop and backtracked
NO SIGHT OF MY NEW LV WALLET! AH!
everything was inside. there was $180, my ic, my atm, my sch pass.
@*%(@&%^*(*^(#$#(&$(
:(
i was so careless as i was rushing to print.
hence didnt realised i dropped my wallet.
holla frens for help but all not free.
fai was at his A&D, Chi with parents and so on.
feeling distraught.
the next person i called was biscuit.
random but yes i did.
and glad i did!
he was having mj session yet he still cab down to save my worthless ass.
ive nv felt so centless before as this was my first time having to lose my wallet.
he even got the comfort cab lost and found number for me. how nice!
i called and made a report.
he came down, acc me and help me paid my stuff.
when we were on our way to make a police report.
comfort called and found my wallet.
P H E W!
den we waited for the cab to come back and gave my wallet back.
i still have to pay the meter fare :(
was $13. waste money ah!!!!
but i rather pay and get my wallet back. :D
no choice eh. was really grateful den he came down.
we barely knew each other and yet he was so kind of him to come down from his fav mj session.
so heroic of him, i really appreciated it.
had dinner and went back home.

6th cny
had fyp interim.
woah, kinda scary.
everything went kinda fine.
jus tt i need refinement and better handiwork on my mock ups.
also met up grace, shark and Jojo in school.misses them so much.
:(

i guess tt's all for cny.
time jus flies like WOAH.
oh wells.

my honourable suicide notes
-

Monday, January 28, 2008

im taking over

went to phuture turns 12 on sat.
sucha drama mama night.
many of my frens were there...
there were Jocekew (ma homie) Dianiel (my sec folk), my hock posse - Jojo, pradap, shark, mok and edward, my clubbing fren - alan, my design fren Matthew, and others like Suhui (Jojo gf) and Anthony.
there was freeflow of alchohol frm 10 - 11.
it jus made all of them so eager
hence resulting in soaking up too fast and fussed.
after another they poped.
down shots, baileys, vodka, screwdrivers, e33.

i guess i really had too fast and much that night.
thanks to matthew that was there to take care of me.
really apprecaties how he snapped to his fren so he could look after me.

i got knocked out my ever first time after tt slip of wine Anthony gave me.
after which , i seriously dont rmb a thing!
shark told me i was hugging my fren and him
and i jus dont rmb shit.
fuck. hope they dont rmb either.
i dun like hugging guyfrens!
OMG.

i cant believed i did this.
what have i become?
am i still the usual sinister sexist Christina?
am i becoming a party animal?
who am i ?

suddenly i got all so emo-fied and fuged up.
all of the sudden the next and only scene i rmb was i was crying over fyp on mathhew.
cried and it jus feel so comfortable.
hugging him like a pillow and jus kept crying.
shit -felt, nv felt so shitty b4.
and the next moment , he grabbed me and shooked me
in the spur moment, i slapped him
im seriously regretful about wad i did.
i'm seriously sorry, it's all jus that quick f instant.
im maliclious and horrendous.
i know i could get really violent with head granades maybe jus wasnt tt.
maybe it just lies in him.
apologised to him many times but it all ended to no avail.
i guess i jus have to leave it the way it is since ive tried my best apologising.
amendin my wrongs is something what i could only do so far.
others jus lies in him
guilt is consuming me from inside but for him,
this is the ultimate humilation.
:(
dont think he would forgive me.

i made a scene in the toilet with Jocekew
luckily i got her.
i realised only pple i really love dearly could pacify me
esp girls.
guys i would jus refused and shove them away.
thanks kew. :)

anywy horrible night.
seriously horrible.
nv want it again.
i guess my stress side jus came to me when im off-guard and half-gone

all my posse were drunk and went home, as well as kew
left some of us in club
enjoyed a few moments and left.
Matthew sent me home
didnt know he could be so sweet.
thanks again

anywy, jus wanna let it out and make a self- mark here

i felt relieved after reliving my cramped up feelings about work.
pouring out made me a whole better functioning person.
i suddenly felt i was the Christina tt back to work again.
this is my last shot.
i HAVE to do this.

i dont wan to disappoint my close sistas.
Lin, reading ya blog post really get me moving.
Chi and others love u to max as u guys always keep me back to my track.
i dont wanna disappoint my family.
i dont wanna disappoint Nigamky.
i dont wanna disappoint myself.

i HAVE to do this.
let eminem past be my insipration.

my honourable suicide notes
-

Friday, January 25, 2008

talking dude , i mean cats

OMG

THESE ARE SOOO DAMN HILARIOUS!

WAHAHAHAA!!!!!!

LOVE IT BABY

my honourable suicide notes
-

cat-tilious

this is rather random.

but i this its randomly funny.

hahaa...

and this, who the hell slps like tt man.
except it i think.
if imma gonna, imma gonna suffer a bloodrush to my head and die. ahaha
its cute la.

and here's some awesome pics.
these furball are jus so adorable.
awww man.
those eyes.
those paws.
those fur.
those innocent cutie looks.
dammit!

you are fat fat round round, jus like me your mother.
-.-

is this the right face to show when i did something wrong ?

now what amigo?
is this corner of the box yours too?
tell me its not and leave me alone.
grrr...

hey, im THE new shoe warmer.
sorry i cant help to let ya shoe shine but do pay me a carrot willya?
ahaha

dont look at me like tt, i swear didnt do it. (yea right)

my honourable suicide notes
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Sunday, January 20, 2008

First Day Of My Life

jus came back from sk, chilling out session with my usual hock posse.
heh, it's been so long since we all gathered and hanged out tgt.
really enjoyed my time but i came home alittle early then usual. :(
there was . . .
Me, Grace, Daps, Shark, Jojo and Jojo's gf - Shuhui.

well, for the first time.
i was the one to reached there FIRST.
oh my, cuz usually i'll the one late. ;P
shark came to picked me up there at the mrt. how nice.
and we have to slacked there while waiting for the other buggers to come.
BUGGERS.

hahaha...
afterwhich we had a long wait.
Daps came. after which followed on by Grace
OH MY. i think we waited like a hr plus or more. grrr...
Daps is sick (hope he gets better) hence he wasnt much himself, which means quiet la.
hence i became quite sleepy.
When Grace came, things became less boring and wait,
i forgot, more silly-er
hahaha! but FUN! den i wasnt slpy anymore! :))

on the way to dap's block
the moon tonight was almost a full moon so i cracked a joke on the
" BIG BAD WOLF" ( inner joke )
made everybody laughed so hard. :P
daps went to grab the vodka disco
while waiting we're finding place to chill
like the usual me who love cheap thrills,
we sneaked into the 'no entry' construction study area.
and we stepped on top of each huge table.
Shark started to moonwalke and Grace was trying to learn.
and i stepped down below doin my usual shuffle.
they looked like a total idiot.
HAHAHA. too bad i didnt took any pic. :(

here, comes the funny part.
halfway thru.
Shark shouted

"shit, the bagala saw me!" * hurried get down and panic

den i'm like panic and goes

" RUN RUN RUN HIDE HIDE HIDE ! ! !"

den suddenly i saw a head popped up behind the metal gates.
IT'S PRADAP LAH.
so pradap is the bagala?
i know he's black la. hahaha
i laughed till my stomach cramped up on me.

we drank near the mrt 2nd floor pathway near compass point.
Jojo and Shuhui was with us already.
they are getting sweeter and sweeter.
holding hands infront of us already.
how envious eh?
had really great time bullshitting, playing 5, 10, 15, 20 & other games.

Halfway thru, Grace blurted out

"V day is coming, lets 4 of us celebrate tgt okay anot?"

it made me goes o.0 ?
and made me think

" den my friends how ?"
"eh, 4 of us? den Jojo how... oh stupid me. he's already attached!"
"huh, den me, grace, daps, shark? so weird sia -.- "

thinking it now, most of my friends are attached!
oh wells... i guess it would be that ?

CHI! dont worry. im here WITH YOU!
or we could get dates for ourselves u know?
:P

:) haven had so much laughters in a day already.
really gald to experienced with them again.
seriously hope this friendship last thru out our life happily.

havocs and crazed till 1am
and i have to go home to do work.
( eventually end up not doin anything :( )
Fai came to pick me up. how nice!
and here i am .

short but a fantastic day it was!

Anyway, i bumped into this video.
so sweet yet so depressing at the same time.
i kinda like the video.
it's so real and sweet (yet depressing again!)
some couples are really so kawaii nei.
esp the last one, reminds me of sweet puppy love.

but at 1:16, it really made me goes
"awww, so sad" yet u see her smiling happily looking at 'him'
as if he is still with her. oh my, admirable aspect in life!
i personally felt the funniest couple is at 1:30.
>.< and sweetest is at 1:38!
some lonely pple jus makes me goes 0.o ? :(
but if u see properly, i think there's gays and lesbian couples too.
:S
oh well, enjoy!

Bright Eyes "First Day Of My Life"

This is the first day of my life
Swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach
Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Don't know where I am, don't know where I've been
But I know where I want to go

So I thought I'd let you know
That these things take forever, I especially am slow
But I realized how I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

I remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange, you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up

And you said,
"This is the first day of my life
I'm glad I didn't die before I met you
Now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you
And I'd probably be happy"

So if you want to be with me
With these things there's no telling
We'll just have to wait and see
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery

Besides, maybe this time it's different
I mean I really think you like me

my honourable suicide notes
-

Thursday, January 17, 2008

damn girl

wassaah homies!

check this bright smile from miss beautiful here.
haha. nvm.
cut short.

I HELL GOT RID OF MA BRACES !
(*EVIL LAUGH - WUAH HUAHUA HUAHUA!)

heh, i took them out ytd after owning them for 2 -3 years.
well, i missed my braces.
weird but i really do.
i dont looked funky without them.
BOOHOOHOO!
well, the first person to check them out is chichi. =D
i mean other then the dentist and the nurse..
DUH! -.-

here's some pics while i was waiting for the procedure.

yea, bored and i like the blurry effect of the reception desk reflection

like usual, my sneaker and dress.
grey is ma love. :D

oh hellow sunshine!
sunshine asleep, no light.

my eye view while im THERE.

after my dental i met up with chi to hit some shopping at chinatown.
went to visit my ex-boss at avantgarden.
there's a new intern there.
kinda cute. ^.^ haha
and the office looks different.
oh man... i miss the place and pple there.
i missed yaoming and his educatonal talks.
i missed Chris lame vibes and his wonderful works.
i missed james squabbling with me and his philosophical talk
anyhow, NONE OF THEM realised i took out ma braces!
:( how sad.

erm... yea, after popping by we headed back home.
mean while in the bus, we took some pics.
well, i noticed tt ive a better smile without those metal particals in my mouth.
check them out.
wide and bright and ting ting ting.
ahahah

chi's looking more and more beautiful man. :D
i looked like a total malay. darn it.

smile baby. smile! :)

so wad do u think?
do i look better with or without them?

i really love this photo. :)
i seriously think we have wonderful smile!
( first time to have this thought)

:)

den around nighttime i realised i was suppose to party w faisal.
oh my. i didnt know was today!
so i hurried change and etc after the chnal 8 show.
ride down to MOS.
( MOS yucks. im a zouker yo )
well, ive no choice as Fai's frens are gg there and im only there to acc.
most of the folks there i dont know at all. so i was pretty --.--
meanwhile waiting for the rest of his frens, we stood one corner drinking and chilling.
like usual the music got me and i shuffled.
haha. meanwhile i noticed this girl beside me but didnt see her face.
after like 45 mins. she turned and stared at me so i looked at her.
!!!!!!
i tot i mistooked her for someone but after like more 10 secs stare.
i know her! but she couldnt recognised me at all.
HAIYO.
she tt realised who i was.
and claimed tt she mistook me as a malay since i was hanging w a bunch of them
( as usual )
haha, stupid huiting.
but it was lucky u bumped into her tt night.
if not i'll be like damn bored with all malays and im the only chinese blending into them.
T.T

well, Fai kept pushing me to drink as well as his friends
i was quite relactant as imma gonna sit bike later ( i dont wan to fall off eh)
and many ppl there i dont know.
so i have to take care of myself.
but still drank a little.

at the dancefloor.
had some fun. spotted one cute guy!
i tot he was mixed but in the end he was a indian muslim.
well, at least he's cute.
too bad he didnt took my number. ahaha
or i shld have?
i haven had so much fun about geting new guy's number or they getting mine.
wait. ive nv get numbers from guys b4.
;p

here's with huiting in the toilet.
she's tipsy already.
and im jus tired and thirsty from all the jumping and shuffling.

i was wearing sporty grange tt night
:)

c-walked in hiphop smoove
shuffled in areana.
I REALISED I SUCK AT DANCING TO TRANCE.
hahaha. but the indian muslim guy is awesome.
DAMN. I SHLD HAVE GET HIS NUMBER!
:(

hahaha. nvm.
i think v-day is round the corner hence im having some syndrome.
baahs. shithead!

im like 20 this year and nv had a v-day before.
had it once with ben but i was busy rushing proj with Sam?
so not considered? hais.
wth. -.-
clubbed till the end of it.

i was soooo looking forward to see the guy again but i cant find him anywhere!
SO SAD!

dont be like so surprise why m i like gg gaga over other race boys.
i always have a fetish over darker boys
;P and not forgetting if they look cute and man.
HEH *evil devil icon

i felt seriously weird and left out hanging out with a bunch of malays.
they were speaking in malays which made me clueless and oh so not interested and BORED.
they like dont bother me much except some guys.
quite irritating to listen to them talking to each other while i sit there like a kayu.
:( i dont like it at all.
and at the moment it reminded me of Grace, as she used to complained to me her own experience.
now i like felt the same exact way she felt it.
seriously, not nice eh?

grrr..
ate breakfast at Mac and headed home.
i'm damn slpy while on the bike man.
cool and chilling ride.
damn shiok to slp.

imma not gonna party anymore till fyp is over.

THAT's THAT

DAMN GIRL!

my honourable suicide notes
-

Thursday, January 10, 2008

x'mas lattteeeeee post.

see if u can spot my lips mark.
try harder eh? :P

oh i forgot.
thou its like friggin late, but i jus wanna post cuz seriously i enjoyed this day.
so i wanna make a mark of it.
it's about 2007 x'mas that's WOOHOOHOOO.
powerful.
on tt particular day, i was seriously very very VERY happy.
i got tgt with all my close homies tt ive loved for the past few many many years.
i loved them all.
:) CHI AND KEW , U DIDNT COME. basket.
hahaha, had a inhouse party.
Themed : old school and retro.
so i wore old school. most of old school peeps wore school U.
so im like the TEACHER.
ahahhaa, stupid kee said tt i look like a pornstar.
wtf. where got pornstar so innocent and cute one. >.<

ate steamboat with them, even had log cake and wine/champange this year.
paste year we've been tgt and non of that cuz we are busy hogging thru the crowd in town.
this year is exceptional.
least sweat but more fun.
lovable party it was.
:) thanks Lin for ya hardwork for this party.
loves u !

do they look alike? they should! they are sistas!
and thanks to them as our organiser! :)

Well, before we can enter. we have to leave our 'love' marks. and Here's DARREN!

AHAHA... i posted him cuz it is unlikely for him to see this, hence my head spared. heh!

they said i also look like M.Jackson tt night too. do i ? *frowns
moo and moonwalker yo.

here THE old school rockers yo.

so u need some proper education?

i love this random shot. haha. :)
check out kee's expression.

priceless. ahaha!

oh, another random shot. in this pic, i looked kinda tall in comparison with yan.
FAT HOPE LAH CHRISTINA HUH . :(

heh. the retro folks. :) awesome.
bring back the moves pple.

seriously looking at them, i felt i was 15 again.
FAT HOPE AGAIN LUH HUH CHRISTINA :(

my baby cat and lilin!
so cute eh :)

haha kiwi, darren and me!
Kiwi is like my 'fav' fruit and Darren is seriously like my bugger! :)
yes and my bugger is smoking like usual.

tt's all my student.
END OF CLASS!
YAY
:P

my honourable suicide notes
-

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

new year eve

it's kinda late but however betta den nth.
year 2k7 is gone forever and here's 2k8 yo.

well, seriously 2k7 is seems so short to me.
like da breakup, misery, struggle, singlehood, havoc, friends, loves, fun, hockey, clubbing, sleepless nights, alcoholic days, laziness, projects, hardworks, creative processs.
all jus sumed up in the year 2k7.
guessed 2k8 would pretty much more or less the same however not some factor thou.

lets strived to a better year 2k8 ahead folks.
in ma life's principle
i think the most important thing in life is being HAPPY.
really, happiness is the key to all ya key to positive lifestyle.
with positive attitude, no one or nothing could beat u down.

"And in the end it's not the years in your life that count.

It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln

Tryna beat tt pple? it's unbeatable yo.

Anyway, im gg to graduate soon and stepping into the dog eat dog world.
to be truthful, i must really admit im afraid of tt society.
yes, the ALL MIGHTY CHRISTINA IS AFRAID OF THE MALICE WORKING WORLD.
hais wad to do, this is inevitable unless i have lotsa money or a hubby to dote me.
haha... marraige is definately outta my choice.
im not selling off my freedom so fast yet as

im like the wind;
loved being me,
loved being free,
loved being wild.

NEW YEAR EVE.

i mus admit i didnt really had a wonderful end of 2k7 year.
Experienced it with Lin, Lest, Miao, Derrick, Chichi, Shartik, Pradap and Corny.
many of my babes are attached so hence Me and Chi felt lonesome.
PHEW. luckily we aint the lonesome ones, there was shark and daps too.
hence 2 + 2 = 4 lonesomes.
hahaha...

It's been a total madness of crowds and due to some miscommunications.
We ended up on the streets enjoying crowds spray galores and fireworks suspense.

WELL, TT STUPID BUILDING.
BLOCKED OUR VIEW.
made us ran or perharps, made me ran like a lunatic.
i took out my heels and ran after the colour blast.
well, im not Jennifer Lopez.
i cant run or do wukong in heels.
After the fireworks, we ended up nowhere to party and left wandering around town.
sad isnt it. not really.

Left me, Chichi, Shark and Daps.

Others went to party or wadeva i do not bother much as i was having too much to handle or entertained.

Anywy, bought beers and play some games by the river.
This is where the part is pretty awesome.
it pretty much made my day.
chilling out under the skies of stars in midst of urban skyscraper,

surrounded with souls beholding for a new world.

chatted our hearts out and played " 5 , 10 , 15, 20 " hand games
Shark ended the one drinking the most, lousy gamer.
Im the 2nd, Chi 's 3rd and Dap's 4th.
oh well, till 2am.
Ma homie havta leave so left us.
I was already abit above ma roof.
but still conscience. wahaha
Walked to find Qi and double O,

wanna go in but it was frigging ex.
$30 for girl, $40 for guy.
siao sia. den we decided to slack instead.
Corny came outta cheekies to met us up for awhile, he was so wasted.
he even beat me and bite shark.
wth..

we tonned till morning eat breakfast at chinatown and maxwell and went home.
oh man.

my honourable suicide notes
-

Monday, December 24, 2007

party comeback

went clubbing last sat.
wickedly fun.
keep group hopping in the club.
a moment im with my design girlies, next i hopped to matt's group, next i hope to Alan side, next im with my hock posse. wahaha...
was meant to hang with Amelia, Eulisa, Magan and Mark but i kept group hopping till zouk was too crowded for me to spot them.
i didnt drank alot but drank fast.
2 e33 in less den 20 mins ( another bottle is at another hr) . plus one bottle is mixed with beer ( taste nice!), i had a few slips of long island and screw driver as well.
got pretty darn high. aint wasted yo and nv will be ya.
;)

this time, is not the hock pple ( Jojo, Max Shark) stayed and look after me.
Alan did. a guy i met in zouk half a year ago and we are still frens.
he really nice, everytime i go zouk chillout and if he was there.
he always look after me. ( nv took advantage, hey, im christina leh. box him if he dare)
so sweet eh? if hard to find real friends esp ppl u met in clubs.
halfway, Alan went to have a great time dancing with girl ( apparently is Max's fren!)
den i was there dancing like a mad woman again.
vs shuffle with shark.
he improved! Jojo too!
man... my running man still sucks! but i still win them!
WUAHAHAHA... *evil
shark took care of me when im giving nut and bull again.
thanks you bugger.

anywy, had an awesome time c-walking and shuffling.
till got a moment i break away from my fren for a moment.
this guys came to me and said.
"why are u shuffling to rnb?"
" why not ? im c- walking too aint i?"
hahahaha... his frene got my number and freaking irritating.
GO AWAY. hahaha.
anywy im mean enough in the msg till he stopped.

at this moment i jus finished watching Stardust online.
nice man. too bad i missed it when its on the big screen.
at least i did caught the storyline.
damn sweet lah the movie.
oh wells.

btw...
MERRY JOLLY CHRISTMAS PPLE!
didnt manage to do all my x'mas shopping so im still quite frantic in finding buy to do last min shopping. sucks indeed but still man...

i hereby wishes YOU a flaming christmas and a hot santa this year ya.
peace!
and may u spray shit amount of foam at ya friends, enemy and bagalas.
hahahaha!

>.<

my honourable suicide notes
-

Saturday, December 22, 2007

crapping out my innershit

frantically finding pple to acc me go shopping and club today.
arghs, i need my christmas shopping as well as grabbin a present for Am.
tml is her birthday celebration.
woohoo! i love celebrations! plus with christmas round the corner, is more loves!

anywy all my darlings are workin or either acc their family out.
baahs. and im here rotting along typing and complaining to Mr blogger.
i rather call blogger a 'HE' is becuz male genders are like nicer to bully at. ahaha
no? i dunno?
nvm. -.- im bored.

21973*^%!* BORED!
i wan to go out shoppin.
im meetin Eulisa later at 6 to art fren, acc her to get some stuff.
den afterwards hitting zouk!
woohoo.. clubbing with de design homies.
how's tt sound ?

btw, im so bored tt i could even bother to go check out my ex bf friendster profile.
seeing him makes me sicks as well as misses the part of him tt he used to be a part of me.
now he got long hair. looks . . . not so nice.
i preferred his old short manly hair.

K TT'S NOT THE POINT.

and fyi, ive got over him long ago.
im jus like to diss abt him for awhile since im BORED.
hahaha... looking at those pics.
i cant stand some pics. dont ask me why.
it jus . . . IRKS ME.
seeing the one u used to love is now like a total stranger is seriously pretty strange.
*eye brows . . . oh wells.
and here the 'best' part.
seeing he still wear the stuff u got for him and gg out with the gf is even more 'WONDERFOOL'
and still own his previous gf STUFF AND MONEY.
fuck man. most of the stuff he wore like 90% are mine and wad ive chosen!
drats... freako mathufarker airhead shitdickie asshoe!! ( sorry ;P)

seeing him so fast get gf !
wad the girl sees in her! ( and wad ive seen in HIM in the past, vomits)
den im still available.
wait.
why m i whining about being single?

I LOVE BEING SINGLE !
so much so tt i kinda love being alone.
till ppl tot tt im emoing.
nonsense.
perhaps i missed being loved.
thinking back, woah.
ive been single for 10 months so already.
so long? it felts so short.
maybe i enjoyed single life so much so tt time flies so fast tt felt so short.

anywy, i reckon tt is when all my frens aint available to acc me.
i might felt jus a little lonely. alittle i guess? alittle? haha
hence, complains about me aint getting any hot guy craze abt me yo.
BAKA. why is this sort of crap coming out of me.
zzz -.-

c'mon
LOVE IS UTTERLY BLIND AND SUICIDAL!
eh... to certain extend i guess.

eh ytd night i was suffering a headache.
i was suppose to slp ( i slept this morning only, told u so tt my bio clocked is screwed)
when thought abt my fyp.
my brain jus refused to turn off but instead it crushed like a com and virus invaded.
i was rolling all around grabbing my head forcing me to slp.
i dont like it at all.
:(

i miss being 10 years old.
oh santa, please dote me this year and bring me to neverland?
:(

my honourable suicide notes
-

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

kill me hate me

i hated myself today

:(

school work is making me nuts.
deep inside i'm messed up but outside im crazy laughing fine.
im gg crazy.

im at the edge of malice

my honourable suicide notes
-

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

cough

been coughing like fcuk the past few days that formed becoming weeks.
currently i coughed till my right lung is painful.
i can feel the pain each time i cough, i guess ive coughed too hard.
it felt kinda numb now. :S
and there's once that happened this afternoon that ive coughed till i was grasping for air.
it felt like asthma attack but wasnt.
sounds scary? kinda not nth much.
PHEW.

my cough syrup aint working, perhaps i shld go see the doc but i think i'll be fine soon. dont need to waste time and money bah.

i think im coughing like this today because i ate chicken for dinner.
arghssss fuuuuwaccck!

:(

my honourable suicide notes
-

Monday, December 17, 2007

football blunders

wohooo... now im talking on the phone with pradap.
Grace hanged up an hour ago.
now we are watchin youtube tgt and i spot this really funny video.
starting part was like both of the guys are acting lah! wth!

i think the most funny part is 1:56
seriously!!!
u see all the player are like stunned and the guy is in his own world.
damn funny, i laughed like dunno how many times.
daps thinks its really funny too.
imagine something like this happened in hockey, i think our captain will f the person up.
haha

enjoy laughing pple!

my honourable suicide notes
-

Saturday, December 15, 2007

band memories

i jus finished reading Chi's blog.
seriously her recent entry made a significane emotional blow to me.
especially while reading and listening to the songs she posted.
those are the band musical pieces we have played tgt.
i cried.

like what she had said, she misses those time.
yes, those were the times whereby u know there is a friend there to be with u.

times where i sat on the trolley and get pushed by 2 silliest fren Grace and Chichi.
times like Chichi chased after bingxi and end up both being chased by weiwen.
times like i tried fixing the hi-fi set till it caught fire
times like we all heard the "ghostly" noise tgt and ran out of the band room
times like we writing calligraphy using a mop
times like comparing whose clarinet is the brightest ( we all lost, cuz Angeline's is winner)
times like we all stood tgt and overthrown the stupid "3 layered" teacher
times like we boycott that bithcy HAWTYYNG.
times like looking bingxi and yk slam dunking and spolied the dance's pple umbrella.
many many unforgettable times.
times that will make us laugh and tear at the same time.

i didnt have the band orchestral feeling for a very long time.
although now im in hockey.
sports have their awesome times too.
but band is TOTAL different too.
we sulk tgt, we high tgt, we move tgt.
all for one and one for all.

i rmb as i sat there, i'll try to stay awake and look across to grace and chichi very often to disturb them. going over to percussion side to play drums.

AH. AND I LOVE PLAYING THE ANNOYING
"Gallimaufry - Movement 3 " Clarinet solo.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
DEAFENING SOLO.

kk enough of my crap.

I MISS MY BAND HOMIES!
DEEP DOWN MY HEART I REALLY LOVE U GUYS!
ALL HAIL TO MUSIC!
(sports too XP )

my honourable suicide notes
-

live fast

i say, friday i slept till 1pm and hurried out of my house to lend my camera to Charlene as her cam is not working properly and im meetin her at 1.15pm! luckily i reached there abt 1.40pm.
afterwards walk ard tpy alone as im bored.
helped to pradap to buy a hoodie whereby i think its nice and value for money.
den have lunch w my mama and went home to slp again.

supposely to meet daps and them at 5pm in the end i overslept like shit and woke at at 6+
and Grace is already at little indian alone! oh my !
heard tt she's trippin over dap's attitude. i was actually kinda worried yet scare at the same time. hahaha... have nv see her angry b4.
wooah. mus be a blast.

mom sent me there and she suggested if wanna eat dinner all tgt abnd im fine w it.
Grace, shark and daps tagged along for dinner nearby with me, my mom and Uncle.
weird but however is fun i think.
hahah... my mom is actually kinda overwhelmed about why m i hanging out with 2 indians guys.
H E L L O?
singapore is a multi-racial country, and they aint badass.
who cares when we feels awesome hanging out tgt?
:) dont play race ah.
hahaha...

anywy, after dinner my mom dropped us at mustafa and left.
Then , met up Jojo there.
went inside and fool, and shopped like some thrifty animals.
i love shopping there at times cuz its like u have to savages stuff outta the loads.
woohoo... thrill.

afterwhich when we are done with out shoppin, we head to balestier and met up Jon.
ate supper and head to his house for some chillout session.
chivas , green tea and pepsi are out treats tt night.
and oh my. we almost finish the whole bottle but however we went out of mixture.
dammit.
and oh my again, i can actually hold my liquor pretty well.
and OH MY AGAIN!
guess wad i saw?

SHOOTING STAR!

woohooo!
Actually it was Grace who spot one first den she told us.
and i was sooo mad about it cuz in my whole life i have always longed to see one.
den i grumble grumble.
:(
den unexpectedly when im dazzlin starin at one of the building.
i saw some white light shoots down.

I WAS STUNNED!

WOOOHOOOOOO!

made a wish after tt.
im seriously really happy about it.
Shark saw the same one too, but didnt make any wish.
this prove tt

BOYS ARE SO BORING.

hahah!

nvm. still very happy i spot one in the midst of hdbs and building.
:) and best is Grace and me have seen one in one night.

halfway thru the night Jojo left for home.
prolly he's too tired to withstand throughout the night.
so left with me, grace, daps, shark and jon.
i wasnt high of anything, as compared to clubbing nights i was actually pretty well-behaved.
hahaha...
i do still hit pple but not as much yo.
shark lost it and collasped to deep f.sleep.
man... i couldnt slp, so chatted with them.
i tried slping but the moment i close my eyes, my mind starts to feel tt ive been spinned.
eye-wide open thru the night looking at pple slpin, im jus stoning.
baahs. couldnt slp nor slpy anywy.
told ya my bio-clock slping system is ruined like fcuk.
ocky life!

halfway thru, shark phone rang so i tried to reach it.
i end upo being whacked by him!
BUGGER. !@#$%
around 8 plus, me and daps sent Grace to hail a cab as she have to be home
got back the room and i aint slpy at all so i sat there disturb daps. hahahaha
after an hr or so, shark finally wake up to his fcukin consciences.
so daps went to slp and me and shark chatted watching young and dangerous.
Jon came in and out of the rooms a few times as he's helping his mom for the first opening day in the new hawker place.
young and dangerous is actually abit boring so i became =.= slpy.
slept an hr while shark playing dota. BORING.

woke up , lunch and weeee...
took bus home.
mom was like nagging at me cuz she tot im having a boyfriend now.
wahlau!
NO LA!
irritating. :( jus dont like the tone she yelled at me. basket.
oh wells.. didnt catch any slp cuz im not slpy at all.
im seriously becoming a real life owl.
clean up my room so i'd shut my mom's trap off for awhile.
ahaha... so im back here writin.
tt's all folks.
:)

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Thursday, December 13, 2007

please work? :(

consulted pat about FYP this tues.
horrible.
likely to say my stuff are rejected.
some are workable however no wow factor.
i wanna WOW pple with my design.
i aint no wanna create another "oh another" plain work.
tt's not my case

being stressed over this dump
i cried about it for alittle while.
no worries, i'll stand stronge.
i'll jus have to strive harder.
no more clubbing for me for now.
ive stopped a week. eh... a week nt bad already.
hahaa...

helped out in Charlene's fyp photoshoot on Tues morning too
hope i did helped her with her stuff much.
as well as hoping that some of the photos will be workable.
she;ve hire a model that is from England, pretty much a nice girl i must say
:)

anywy, been sloggin in the library for inspirations past few days
luckily i have mates like wendy, grace, pradap, jojo, shark, mok and a new found friend - tszchong.
happy pple yo.
oh wells...

grace studyin and daps acting as a pillar- wait he is one. haha

tzechong ( selfclaimed brazillian mix malay chinese looking guy) and chiwawa~

JOJO! finally i met up with him after so long.

constipation again ? eh.. i doubt :X

the hock notourious gays

not d design pple but they are pple who enlightens my miseryday.
all the design pple are now very stress like me. :(
creative mind have to stay happy to able to have creative happy ideas
baahs...
crit 2 presentation is coming and im utterly ridden by it.
:(

brain please wor, please ?
:(

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Monday, December 10, 2007

hockiness

oh anywy, i finally got to get back into some hockey-business last sat.
had a friendly match against RI dudes and Greenville boys.
slept late ytd hence woke up abit late.
Grace overslept too hence i didnt receive any morning call from her at all.
Luckily my urge for some hockey made me hop out of bed and called her.
She's not feeling well as she's having this bad dirreohoe for past 3 days, i asked her not to come but she insisted.
i guess she urging for some balls too. haha.
after which called up another lazy sply head - shark.
bloodie asshole, no matter how many time i blasted his phone he jus didnt picked up.
i even called his house, but to no avail.
didnt bother much after calling him dunno how many times.
!@#$%^&

played as a right defender in the first half against RI, and my rubberband is jus too friggin lose.
my hair is like coming all over my face, and i have to kept adjusting it till Danker scolded me.
:( no fun at all. :( :( :(
after which comes a break den when we came back.
AH. suprised to see tat bastard shark came.
he said he was shocked to see his phone having 20 missed call.

dammit, y not 19. my fav number! XD
and he told me he finally move his arse outta bed after reading my fearsome sms. haha!
im good at making pple fear me eh. nv fail. ahaha.
FEAR ME!
games started with more pple coming. this time i played right mid-field.
and i found a way to tie my hair better hence its not all over my face this time.
i really kinda like playing as a mid-fielder as i can enjoy running up and down more and getting more balls. Although is pretty tiring, but it's fun! :D

RI pple are good but i preferred playing with the greenville boys. damn cute.
small boys playing with big girls.
one small boy damn cute! keep complaining complaining.
saying in malay " i shoot here cannot, shoot there cannot, where u wan me to shoot... grumble grumble"
den im like "aiy, lac la lac la, relac la bang" den afterwhich i heard karmila laughing at otherside. haha.
Overrall the match was really fun. we didnt win but like wad Viven said, jus enjoy the game.
i totally agreed to that.
they said i did kinda well at that match and i was quite taken back by it.
cuz i feel that i didnt play well.
I NEEDA BUCK UP!
i needa change my hitting method. ( cuz mok told me i hitting wrong)
and i needa be quick in dribbling. ( so tt i can dribble pass more pple!)

SCC HERE I COME . . . ! soon.
hahaha. after fyp lah.
:)

here are some pic i took with my new phone. bored luh.

our 'beautiful astro-turf" : guys are playing against the RI boys

WENDY! check out her expression.

me and chiwawa. she looked damn pale, poor gal. hope she's feeling better

Karmila and Viven! Shingo and Pradap(kana blocked) and Sam's cheeky smile!

me and my wendy loves! ( chiwawa and Harjar behind too)

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designers being sterotyped?

i guess my this particular entry wont relate anything or anybody unless u are a designer or design influenced person like me.

Anyways, while i was researching about inspirations for logotypes, i pondered into http://typophile.com/node/14186 and ive read up an interesting entry about this particular guy who wanna do his research for marketing materials to discover what the most common perceptions are with regards to designers/creatives- aesthetics, dress code (or lack there of), body language, interaction, sleep patterns, attitude toward life, politics, clients, the law, etc... narrowed down to the stereotypes that are most commonly percieved by the public at large. Hence, he quoted designers in these such:

Designers Feel: Superior, Egotistic, Passionate, hate when less creative folks get paid more then themselves, etc...

Designers Desire: Sexual partner to position themselves as letterforms during intercourse-like Eastern Indian’s have The Karma Sutra, etc..

Designers Wear: black turtlenecks, have cool glasses, have tattoos of letterforms instead of names of loved ones....

Designer Think:
???

Seriously, i think this guys is kinda looking for trouble by putting this kinda post in a design forum.
no doubt that many designers responded to this thread.
it's really funny about how the kinda of different designer reacted - either typographers or graphic designers. And after reading them, you actually found out how they've live and etc. i do find some links and relations in some of the designers to me. :)

to think of it, i used to wear black but i dont wear turtle neck ( as i used to be a vry punkish and heavy- metal person but now im vry colourful! still love the same music thou) and have quirky glasses but wear only at home. But ive no choice as i bought the wrong specs. And NO TATTOOS. hahah.. and under the "Designers Desire"- i think is total crap.

try to read up, it's total humour and self-entertaining. eh, i think only designers will appreciates.
XD

btw, i love this part that is posted by a guy in typophile nicked : Character

"In general I would say:

Designer love: beautifull things, to be trendsetters, to be innovative, to talk to fellow-creatives about what they do, to make the world a better and more beautifull place and to get paid while doing that.

Designers hate: stereotypes (unless they can use it for their work), not being understood, financial arguments with the client, rainy days and advertising agencies."

That's all designs-elites !
loves for colours and inspiration ! :)

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