HER HONORABLE SUICIDE NOTES.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

and once again imma gonna say this.

WHAT A LONG TIME MAN.
its been almost like a friggin year since i get myself to this deserted blog of mine.
literally dead and swipped out of the cyberspace sort.

and when i am like now so bored and couldnt get to slp.
i decided to see how is my blog doing.
and oh my...

so dead! even the blogskin expired!
Hence TADA! eventually trigger me to change a whole new skin.
alright i know its not really user friend with is small navi screen up and down.
turn off however i dont see any i like.

Jus IMPROVISE. LOL.
Its cute alright. my mini chatbox in that ipod.
wahahaha.. however ive a problem to add in additional links for my friends' blog.

bahh...
life been good i guess.

Left Homeclub, in SIM now studying businessssss...
weird leap from design to business.
HEY HEY.. not that i hate design or what..
ive my reason. and im still working part time/freelance as
graphic designer alright.

heh. life been good.. oh i gone thru that part.
jus maybe money wise aint tat good as im workin a full time now.
however, somewhat enjoying the sweetness of life without stressing cause...

ITS HOLIDAY.
however, its ending soon. like next year.
blahhh...

nothing good last forever.
just like my bloody blog skin.

LOL.

4:35 AM

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

hello internet.

its been awhile.
how life's doing virtually for you?
it has been the same for me, like as it has for you.

i've work like usual on weekdays,
late like usual.
less party on weekends, like "usual".

i think im losing myself as a person.
i do not wish to socialise, nor to get involve.
what have i become.

is there something so tiresome for me?

life itself?
maybe.

relationship tamed me into someone that i dont know?
or just strange to me.

strange like a stranger.
i dont know.
or perhaps this is just me?

but... there's something.

i can feel it.
its in me.

coming back again.
scurring for something... for awhile now.

again.

designing.
colours.
inspirations.
learn.
earn.

busy.

finally. i need something.

next month i am turning away from 20.

21.

twentyone.

yes.

21.

the number i feared the most when i was as young as today.

twentyone.
many said its door to freedom.

twentyone.
i say its the door to doom.

age it just a number,

but as the digits grow
it hold more than you wish.

life.

there will be change.
just 4 mths away.
i yearn for that.
very much longing.

there i dont know what i'll be.
it's as strange as you to me.
future cant be seen.
my shoes are not yours to be in.

weird.

yes. weird.
this is weird.

was.

was when u understand it.

Sign off

Pangst.
the strange side of Christina.

1:40 AM

Sunday, March 15, 2009

somebody save me! (shout from your screen)
i know its dead.
no one is able to save it, only i could.
the soonest i will, when im free.

- Doc Pang.

3:00 AM

Sunday, January 18, 2009

i know many thought my blog was dead.
you guys are dead wrong.
i'm jus lazy lah! haha... been busy.
nth much made me really wanna post anything as i couldnt fork out much time
however this is sooooooooo good that i cant possibly give it a miss.
this makes me happy.
it made my bum bum move on my seat.
hope it does for you too
:D

its an TMobile advert at Liverpool Street Station.
Life's for Sharing!
im sharing this with you.
:)

12:43 AM

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

this is my online portfolio.

ive updated like finally,
with works from homeclub made my portfolio livelier!
haha, because ive work to do everyday and i can update it with my work!

i decided to post this here cuz ive nv really publicize my own portfolio online actually.
i only gave the links to companies when i was hunting for a job.

i dont know why ive this sudden thought to publicizing my portfolio here on my own blog.
its not much publicity but its a small start yea?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/myartwar/

MY ART WAR!

woot people! feel free to ask me Qs about my work too.
the.art.war@gamil.com or my personal mail too.

thats all folks
aitessss!
gtg go smoke out from office as its knock off time yea!

*smoke out!

5:05 PM

ytd was the worst raining day i ever lived through.

i was on my way to work and it started raining,
when i reach my destination which is jus opp my workplace.
i was helplessly stucked at the bus stop for an hour.
and that hr was the most painstaking hr ive ever been through.

almost every car drove past the nearest road to the bus stop,
make a "tidal wave" towards the whole entire bus stop and ive no where to hide.
alas, i was all wet eventhou i wasnt under the rain.

i was soo distraught that i wanted to skip work.
i was drenched, helpless and alone.
but i didnt and hang on there,

and i took a bus to outram mrt to take cover,
waited.. and waited for the rain to stop
sigh.. more to say but thinking about how bad the day was nostalgically dreadful.

4:51 PM

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

haha.. guess where am i now.
hmm. . . .

im in my office!
im a badass i know, i know,
blogging while working.
but hey! i finished my work that is why i have the time to blog.
and i seldom do anything else den work alone while at work!
so i guess i do deserve some leisure grace period as rest time for awhile?
haha...

well, after my in charge is back from China
workload had been a little more and uptight den usual.
(plus along another is back too!)
However i still appreciates somebody's presence with me that i can speak to.

Anyhow, last friday was halloween and it wasnt rocking at all. at all.
maybe the fun period was the time dressing up and meeting up my girlies ( Lin & Huikee)
other den tat, no.
cant enter phuture cuz it was exaggeratedly packed with ghouls, skeletons, pirates and death itself.
i was very dissappointed that i cant go as i didnt step afoot on phuture's ground for half a year already.
i was a phuture kid, now im a "home" kid.
literally. (if you know what i mean)

i was dressed as a dead cabaret, or a widow.
and i spend... hmm.. nth at all?
last year i spend some bucks on the sword, but this year nth!
and my costume is still totally rocking socks without any cent spent.
pwned!
Lin as a bloody dead nurse and Huikee was sexily dressed in a black chongsum with a flurry neck thingy plus along with a headshot on her head. i didnt call her anything cuz i dunno if she's dress like a dead mamasan, or some dead getai singer.
OPPPS! haha...
its for u to think wild pple.
i kinda look like a cosplayer but no... more to the western side please.
haha... something really sad is that no one brought camera!
hence, ive no photos at all.
sad case. :(

my baby came along too... he was sooooooo reluctant to go clubbing, but still came with me.
along with his chauvinistic perspective and beliefs, baahs... how could he!!
after which we went off early and quarreled outside the club as something happened.
like duuuhhh... issue is unable to disclose! haha...
but after close to an hour of verbal war ( no vulgar ), that's the end of it.
cabbed back to tpy Mac and eat.
and damnmnmnnnnmnmnnm funny.
ive blood on my neck to mimicked a slashed cut, and a blood tattoo heart with blood gashing out on left arm
ppl in mac stared at me as if i was a walking corpse. maybe.
haha!
esp one Mac delivery uncle.
he stared with a open mouth and head turn to wherever i walked..
of cuz i told him it was fake as it's halloween!
and oh my, he was relieved.

haha...
treat or trick ? i guess..
gtg get my ass back to work!

3:45 PM

Saturday, October 25, 2008

oh i forgot to post this!
credits to Yaoming! my ex boss in Avant Garden :)
he gave me this to watch!

so entertaining but nice too!
ENJOY YA!

p/s : moral of this story is to tell you get more toilet paper before you shit.
if not, you will be in deep shit trouble.
HAHAH!!!

WONDERGIRLS!

* sings - i want nobody nobody but you...

12:52 AM

Friday, October 24, 2008

ive been working at Homeclub as a Graphic Designer for a month-ish already.
Working there is actually pretty enjoyable in the sense that i do not encounter much stress however so learning experience aint so much a radical one as ive no one to gain or teach me.
even if i did learn.
Those were self-taught or learned from mistake made from projects.
so far, i havent much encounter haywire duties that will stress me out crazily or in other words,
they havent got a project that is like that. haha...
but sometimes i think Job need some challenge so we will out do what we always to and strive for the indifferent possibilities.
Homeclub designer, as what ive heard from other is in Shanghai now.
The time that i'll stress out will be the time when he's back.

so i guess meanwhile, i'll enjoy all that i can or if i can...
not in slacktitude but its more on exploring in any form of design that im inspired to do

Anyhow, back to life.
ive been bumping into my girls lately,
which is something i really get fond of.
Miao - i saw her at tpy bus stop as well as bus
Lin - After her work when she heading to bugis and im heading to BlueJazz
Minhui - at bus stop while im gg to work and she's gg to sch!
Chi - Met her up!
and many others like my friends!

sometimes, i jus wonder...
where the hell have all of us been up too.
we seem to be distant as compared to how we were used to be.
dammit...
i guess what i can conclude is that this is a inevitable cruel fact of growing up,
getting our responsible as a young adult catching up to our ass made us busy with ourselves.

life goes on and everything ought and will change.
you know what i mean.
jus be contented with whatever we are going through,
good or bad
love it or hate it
at the end of the day,
i am sure the sun will shine for you.

wahhh.. u mus be thinking that Christina is mad talkin so deep with life.
have you forgotten?
im mad to begin with!
haha...

ive been hanging out alot with my craxy bunch of hockey mates too!
Grace, Jojo, Shark and Daps!
the last time with full attendance, they made a fool out of Jacob's place for the bbq
but it was so fun !
machiam Chalet! ahahaha!

OHOHOH!
my family had welcomed a new member in ytd!
HIS NAME WAS SPORTY..
which i find it horrible, so i called him HOCKY!
den my sis called it MILO
den Samual called it WU MING ( NO NAME)
( we cant settle on what name to give him...)
can u imagine?
like different pple kept callin u with a different names at the same place around the same time?
he mus be confused, poorthing.
and finally i came up with a brillant named which my sis and i agree one
and called it COOKIE!
better den my mom! wanna call it Jacob, HAHA!

oh.. HE'S A DOG! Shih Tze breed.
not a breed i like but its one of my sis dog's babies
and its almost 3 mths old.
personally i was actually against the idea of having pet, but since my mom insisted.
i cant do anything.
moreover, im not the one cleaning it!
and as long as it dont come into my room
haha!!!

my internet is down again. :(
but this time im not really bothered by it because i can be online at work!
ahaha...
you mus be thinking.. woah..
bloggin while workin... what a snake!
NOWAY!

Im at Jacob's place now.
he had a sudden fever in camp and came home early.
so i came home with him and took care of him.
sponge him with ice cold water, covered him with blanket, bring food and water to him, pat him to sleep. Until his fever is down, den i stopped taking care like a real baby.
he's a ugly sleeping monster now.
drooling all over his pillow sheet and subsequent staggering snores roars
so cute... ALRIGHT.. at least to me.
haha...

he wrote me an email ytd and it was so sweet of him
i love you Jacob!
hope you get well soon!

: D

11:34 PM

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

" Look ma... It's Pear! i want one too!!!"

He is Stefan Lucut a designer from Timisoara, Romania
http://www.stefanlucut.com/

funny!
:D

1:27 AM

Monday, October 13, 2008

he forgotten about it like again.
a sense of insignificant daggered through my heart
and make me ponder...
it never fails as disappointment consume me into deepen darker thoughts
simple as it is,
jus remember this day
and celebrate it with a greet to me. for me. for us.
It was a mark of the day we abide to love each other more than jus friends
rejoiced again with words simply to remind ourselves we are going strong,
be contented about what we have...
or perhaps is so lucky that im with you.

please tell me that isnt too much to ask?

"imprisoned" for a week plus or so
upon seeing me, i felt no excitment from you.
the mere same old dull face i see
the mere same "hi there... only" phrase i heard
the mere same old cold touch i got from you.

am i that unpleasing for you?
seriously?

sometimes i jus think you were more affectionate with her(s)
den me.

every week, the gush of...
i cant wait to see him,
i want to see him,
i love to see him
thoughts filled my mind
but you?

you seems to carry the "she will be there for me" mindset for awhile now.
whenever you are coming out or going in.
im always forking out my time jus for you
doin nothing much but just be there.
this afternoon like usual "i'll be there" day,
it suddenly strucked me that
"why am i here when i dont seems to be needed and i could have been elsewhere using up my time in better ways"
what actually made me thought of this
cuz when i am there, i do nothing much or dont seems to be needed

jus like that day,
i went all the way down alone to simei as told
ate alone, wander alone, wait for ya mom alone
reach ya camp and stood there with ya mom for almost 2 hrs
and what i got the first thing from you is "you are not forgiven"

not remembering our day wasnt a very pleasing already,
and yet this thing you said.
know what is "what the hell am i doing here" feeling?

why am i sacrificing so much for someone that i dont think that loves me.
seriously, if im not happy, dont feel loved, dont feel missed,
dont feel anything that will make me feel important.
why the friggin heaven am i still there for you.

do i need to become really bad to you so you could be nice to me?

when i needed someone really bad,
where are you?
stucked in camp.
and i understand totally that it cant be help
but why cant you jus be more affectionate with me when we are able to see each other
let me feel/know that im not alone

all this unhappiness in me jus made me fear it will become like my previous relationship.
the hopelese thought of hanging on for the sake for hanging on
a week after week
praying it will be better in another week.
and all ends in pain when there's no more week to wait for.

sometimes you said you do but why does my heart feels it?
instead it felt the other way.
and why dont you sound that you do?
and why dont you tell me if you do?
dont tell me maybe i'm sensitive again, as why no consider that you are insensitive?

you told me you were unexpressive about affections
you was expressive before.
can you be the same?

do you know how sad a woman can be?
you saw her cried painfully before, you ached for her as u cant do anything
woman are affectionate people who needs to know they are love.
from friends, family, husband or boyfriend
no love, they crumbles into emptiness whom seek other ways to feel significant

i know and understand clearly that there's nothing wrong with our relationship.
it's evident as there's no hate, no 3rd else
i do feel bliss that i've found you, you are with me and you are faithful.
but i jus couldnt acccept the fact/feeling that i do not feel love by you.
it drives me craxy with my ridiculous thoughts about you...
if it carry on...
soon i'll have my time and crumble
that's when the point i seek elsewhere for significance

i hope that day will never come.
please..

2:30 AM

Thursday, September 25, 2008

im aware that i didnt update again, hence i hereby offer my humble apologies.
i was really busy accompanying my precious baby as he was finally freed from army for 12 days.
i was sooo willingly to forsake any of my time just to make full use of this opportunity with him.
Forgoing friends' outings, clubbing nights and sometimes even sleep!
As afterwards, he's gonna get confined back into OCS camp at Jurong for 3 weeks!
arghs...

Before all of these,
i attended his POP - Passing out parade, which is now renamed/called GP - graduation parade because 'passing out' sounded like u are literally passing out which incidentally happened to some of them during the parade unfortuantely.
( POP LOH! )

Went over to that "land of goodbyes" with his Mom this time round.
initially, it was pretty weird - you know, the usual 'weird' feeling everyone will have while with ya lover's parents.
you shld get what i mean !
haha..
we got to seat VIP SEATS! weeee! not because i went there and i refused to budge but because my baby was the platoon best!
Hence we got the "grand" seats.
so proud of you darling.
Surprisingly, you're not the laziest nor the hardworking one...
is just that the rest of ya platoon are lazier den you!
which means you are still lazy. haha! :X
i'm kidding sweetie.

while settling down at the seats,
i kinda had a squabbled with one of the Sir/Sergant or whatever because Auntie wanna seat outside but he refused and insisted us to move in............. idiot...
so we ended up sitting at the corner of each end alone as those were the available one.
Which means, Auntie was sitting behind me, so that makes me infront of her.
after settling down. i was sooooooooo excited to see baby so i starting all my nonsense with Auntie.
OH NO.... talked to her as if i was talking to a friend but of cuz, i minded my language!

after a long wait,
they finally came marching in after their 24 km route march
:D:D:D:D
i was so eager to spot my baby.
look...... stare.................. strain my eyes...............................
w h a t . . . . . t h e . . . . .
all looked the same one!!!! like toy soldiers!
fortunately Jacob told me where he would be standing!
when they are all in their position, i found him!
i was his photographer that day... again.

all in their company position.
diffcult to spot them eh?
i know where's Jacob is...
(he's the center amoung the flag poles!)

this is what i meant jus now by literally passing out.
poor guy (s)
-there was another one.

best in whole company pple.
b o r i n g

Marching off to take off their gear and they will come back later.
while they were marching.
i was soooo frantic to find his co. and him!
and when i spotted him.
he smiled at me... that smile really made my day!!!
that was really sweet although its jus a simple smile.
thinking it back now, its still melts my heart. :)

After they took their route march gear and
fall back in on the parade square.
we are allowed to go over to him to put his recruit jockey cap back on him!
ahhh... that's of cuz his mother's job.
not me... im jus a g.f.

Auntie and Jacob!
Motherly love!
dunno why baby looked so reluctant.
haha...
i guess your tired. poor baby.

my turn my turn!
:) i'm here for you darling!
my baby so handsome =D

i love this picture!

Darren... his erm... ownself-claimed as Jacob's gay partner. *grrrr
and that's Darren's mom.
and baby with his funny yet adorable expression.
- i know u cant wait to kiss me. haha!

Darren and Jacob with Whisky's platoon in charge - i think

After that we have to go back to our seats.
they fall back in uniformly and then...
hell break lose!
W H A T T H E ?

wow?
where u guys running to?

oh. chey.... jus running to "THERE"

they made alot of ROAR sound while running.
sounded quite spastic.
haha... loud mass of manly army boys voice roaring...
woooo... actually kinda sexy.
HAHA !

came up to cheer for themselves as well as their graduation.
baby looked so adorable... wait.. can u even spot him? haha!
he's so serious that he didnt even bother lookin at me! :(

heh... he's at the far right, center of those 2 sergents!

wah... act serious sioh..

i think i miraculously took this magnificent picture that
many pple couldnt enticipate fast enough to snap it.
weee... flying caps not spaghetti monster anymore.

My baby and his close bunk mates.

the best of all co. platoons

he and i dunno who.
oppps

us!

heh...
During the 12 'freedom' days,
we had whale of a time doin many things together!
we had movies, dvd sessions, majong, singing, guitar lesson, shoppings, jogging, swimming, roller blading, catching sunrise at ecp along with his ai xin breakfast, falling aslp in the attic and dinner with both of our families.
jus lack of the safari night that he promised me.. sighh :(
i was kinda moody as well during the days too and i dunno why.
jus something bothering me.
sigh.

perhaps is that i dread the day that he's gonna be away again.
but i really keen in meetin my baby everyday.
i couldnt bear to waste anytime doing any other thing else.

i love you sweet.
i'll be there for you.
i promise.

12:11 AM

Monday, September 01, 2008

been working for 3 weeks now.
glad that im workin actually even thou the fact that its a temp job.
well, at least im earning than to stay at home doin nth.

my sis's dog, Kiki (suzu breed), gave birth to five adorable puppies a month ago!
and awkardly, all of them are males!
how unlucky actually.
all brothers, no sisters :(

my sis brought back home for my mom and i for some cheap amusement.
haha... it does the trick well as they made us going craxy for more den an hour.
especially my mom.
her non-stop whining of their cute-ness.
they jus opened their eyes a few days ago.
still very vulnerable and weak.
they cant walk at all, they crawl around or perhaps i shld say try to crawl around (cuz they looked more like mopping the floor with the legs struggling to move up and down)
they are so adorable i must say!!!

they will grow up pretty quickly with time, progressively growing while they are asleep.
so baby and i were making the best time out of it playing with those cuties while they are still helpless.
HWAUHWAHWAH!!!

dont they resemble guinea pigs?
apart that they are more adorable. woot!

my baby and the baby. haha...
the puppy seems rather disturbed by my baby...
somewhat like saying "dont disturb me la..."
so cute right!!! i mean my babyboy.
HAHA!

they are hunger for nipples.
they WILL suck whatever is placed infront of their mouth.
my baby thumb was 'THE NIPPLE" then.
HAHA !!!

my baby is giving him a head massage.
see how much the puppy is enjoying it. =D

its all about 'puppy' love!

NOW IS MY TURN!
=D

heh!
i think i randomly carried out one of them
*EVIL LAUGH - now you are helplessly in between my leg. see how u escape!
=.=

he's a very fortunate pup as he has a meinu to pamper him
and give him full body massage.
ahh... so shiok it must be. ;P

it fell into deep slp la!
so cute.
come on, gimme a high 5! *tap its paws

so cute right!
slping so soundly on comfy dress and legs.
this can be a wallpaper!!... my dress prints are jus simply awesome.

it looks pretty much like a doll eh?
i meant the pup duh.

anyway, im not intending to keep any for myself.
it looks cute and whatsoever.
but it aint the kinda of breed i like.
personally, i preferred much bigger dogs den suzu.
and definately love a slightly more hyper active and obedient one.
like one of Jacob's dog. Nali. :)

here 's Nali!
i know she looks rather big, but she really obedient.
she listens to me even thou im not the owner.
oh.. she's was found on the streets.
hence they named her " na li "
in chinese means "where"
cool eh.

and i dont think i'll have the patience and time needed to rear a dog properly.
maybe when the times come which im more qualify to give the dog all the love it needs,
then i'll consider of getting a dog or a cat for myself.
being a pet owner comes with many responsibility and love
but come to think of it.
im a person that is always out, out and out
how to?
oh wells.
still early to say... do

pets are not the priority for me now... yet or not.
i guess if i want to try out the feeling of owning a pet,
i can always take care of jacob's dog for some trial training
:P

ANYWAY!
i shall end this post with this...

" OH MY! SUCH A BIG HAIRY . . . . ."

HAHA!

1:31 AM

Monday, August 18, 2008

Me, Huikee and Marilyn and with a few other frens hit the clubs on last sat.
double o and o bar.
W O A H.
the moment im in there, i felt so alien-ish

jus wasnt the usual feeling like i used to feel.
was feelin very much uncomfortable den " YAY!! ITS PARTY TIME" feeling.
that night was a total cock-fest
full of asscrack army boys or i assume them to be
one word : Y A C K
major turn off. seriously.

a usual norm lame guy thinks that club is where a infamous place where any guy whether he, himself is cannot make it, ugly or simply jus fcuked up could still easily hook up girls. any girls.
W R O N G P E R S P E C T I V E P L E A S E
i guess cant blame them cuz they are naturally born to think THAT way. ANY way. WHATEVER way they think its right.
likewise they think they own the biggest gun.

imma gonna rant again about boys.
yes, Christina havent post her famous "anti-male" species post for a very long time.
dont ask me why im diggin this up again,
i jus feel like ranting about males/boys after that night.
THEY DISGUST ME - referrin to those snobbish male indivdual.
( to guys : if u are unhappy with this post of mine. CONGRATS! you jus self-admitted to be one of those disgusting chauvinist males out there. If not, u wouldnt have anything to be angry at cuz u are not one of them )

hmm..
ASK ME WHY IM SO YEEEEW ABOUT THEM.
QUICK! ASK!
nvm...

anyway, i did not do anything unfaithful to my dearest baby boy Jacob.
is true! this is "ripley's believe it or not" (RANDOM)
i miss him like hell can!
getting intoxicate with alcohol is definately a wrong decision as it added on more fire to my misery.
everytime when some chap or chaps came along and tried to get fresh or make frens with me
im get very annoyed. cuz its like DONT U BLOODY HELL GET MY CLEAR CUT HINT THAT I BLOODY HELL WANT YOU TO GO AWAY!!!

firstly, was 2 males
one tried to dance with me even thou ive shown no interest.
attempted to put his arm on my waist but fail.
FAIL!!!!!!!!!! why? cuz i shoved them away when i felt a ini tibsy being touch feeling
after awhile, his frens came and ask

"do u mind dancing with us?"

"no, sorry im not interested" straight back to their face.

*continue dancing.

another one sickening boy stick to my suddenly like glue.
jus imagine. a paper stick to u and u nv move cuz u very pek chek and jus stare at him.
jus imagine.
den jab him hard on his chest and stare at him stright to his face and he still dont get it.
ARE U STUPID OR BRAINLESS OR U ARE JUS BORN WITH LOW EQ/IQ OR WHAT?
so we decided to change place and went a few metres away.
HE CAME BACK LIKE A PAPER THAT UNFORTUNATELY GOT STICKED TO U.
*roll eyes.
so we change place again.
and thanks god that there's still some EQ left in that poor stupid guy.
he's a pain on my skin. my poor skin.
:(

another one while i was waiting for Huikee outside the smoking area.
the guy beside me spoke to me with a OMFG act tone!!!
in his forceful 'act sexy' low voice "you are not here alone by chance arent you?"
i shirked into my pathetic corner and said no + roll eyes and face the darn wall.

another was quite alright.
a group of boys
they asked one of their female friend to come over and ask us if we wanted to make frens.
i said "im not interested" and kept looking at Huikee hoping she would do something.
but nth!! Huikee jus stared back to me T_T
She still continue to pester us to go over and funny part. even ask me am i malay!?!?
==.== what is it gonna do with race? racist sia they all. tsk.
her persuasion continued, which i end up telling her " im sorry but i'm attached"
Huikee dont seems interested at all too... except for the snowcap guy cuz she keep whining, calmin that he's cute and want to know him. (very cute meh?!)
she went back however came back again after awhile.
saying they still wanna know us.
im dumbstrucked and jus stared and Huikee.
TO MY SURPRISED!
huikee dragged me over and said " jus make frens lah"

okay loh.

shake hand. exchange name.
woo... can make it one sia. tall and musculer.
when we are about to leave for some drinks,
one guy named Alan want my number!
:s

of course . . . . i give to him not!
HAHA...

for what.
my heart is filled and overflowing with love.
no need more.

after which we club hop to MOS to find Huikee's bro and his fren.
both are from Air force. cool right.
nt interested.

MOS is as mundane as double o.
im so over clubbing period.
i wan to go out and run around under the sun.

:(

i friggin miss my baby :(

3 more days!

I WANT MY

JACOB LIM

FANG YAO

NOW!!!

:(((((

10:38 PM

Thursday, August 14, 2008

had been workin at ERA as personal assistant for the past 3 days

My boss is the Senior Marketing Manager called Mandy

she's young and amazingly pretty.
learned quite alot of things in jus 3 days,

hope there will be more ahead.
office work is kinda draining for the mind
as i sat there,
my tailbone starts to pain relapse again.

(my old injuiry due to a fall while roller blading)

Mandy told me that women is prone to have alot of problems more on the pevis area
She told me not to sit too long at the same position for too long,
advised me to stretch and move around after awhile.
she's so nice and caring!

after work,
went down to AMK's Fish & Co. for Chi's very belated birthday celebration with her and some of my sec sch frens
HAHA!
Simin is so funny... i havent seen her for like since sec school.
and surprisingly she still recognise and remeber who am i.
the first thing she said to me is " haiyo.. you very pretty leh, i cant recognise u"
--.--
i dont think i am but thanks anyway! heheh

Chi today dressed up pretty and first time i see her accessorized!
She can live by days with or without accessorizes
but my case, i will die without them as i'll feel very bare and naked.
is like a woman without her bra!

hahaha...

havent been posting up group pictures man... finally!

my face looked swollen at my left side is becuz i'm eating a friggin big sweet which ive placed at the side. Carven looks like she is giving off some sort of radiant aura.

Top: Me, Chi, Carven, Jolene, Chiwei!
Bottom: Simin, Beatrice and Minhui!

i had alot of fun talking to them even thou we dont really met up at all.
it's jus so hilarious joking about almost everything nonsensical.
i love this kinda days.
:)

P.s: Hope you like the present that i ( and Jacob) gave u

2:46 AM

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

WAH LAU

DAMN CUTE

CAN!!!!
remind me of my pudding :(

he's a british guardman

i dont know if he's lazy or scare

7:28 PM

Monday, August 04, 2008

here's my bunch of craxy ass girls from tp hockey.
they join the Dove Shower Ok contest.

watch them singing alot silly-ly!!!!
so cute... how i wished im still in poly.
there are
Jasmine Seah (vice cap) , Png Sim Phuy (the handsome) , Lee Jia Zheng, Tay Wei Ying, Grace Tsang Yung Xin (my chiwawa), Candice Ho

its so nice of them to name it TP hockey.
:D

please please please help me vote this video
please!!!
thanks pple!

:)

10:01 PM

Friday, August 01, 2008

this may take u quite awhile to get what i meant...
omg..
i bet you gonna laugh ya head off when you finally get it.

well lets see...

hmm.. batman poster?
what so funny about it?
it jus a well done poster with fantastic cg and artwork.

come on...
look harder...
there's something very very wrong (and funny) about this
.
.

still dont get it?
you sure u dont wanna give it another look carefully?

still cant figure out what's wrong with the darn poster?
.

alright, here's the hint

nth wrong still?
.

if you were batman...
what will u be looking at..

the skyline of the city?

or

the window frame?

i bet you are laughing now.
i didnt realised it either until i saw it on some design forum.
this is friggin balls funny.

hahaha...
and one more think
the reflection of him and the cityscape on the floor is like totally wrong.

WAHAHAHA...

joker : why so serious?
(that's why all the funny mistakes in here)

2:36 AM

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

baby called me this afternoon and said somethings that is pretty surprisingly delightful
he was asking me about how did my interview this morning
so i was telling him... it pretty interesting etc
Hence he was telling me to do try out stuff to improve my skills since ive nothing much to do
i did sometimes when i feel like it and ive tried some stuff which i like but my computer jus couldnt support like dealing with 3D as my com memory is runnin low
so he suggested me to use his computer instead.
den im like wth... !? how i use.
he said jus go over his place and use.. without him around.
isnt that weird!!!
like i go his place... hi uncle.. go up his room and use com.. as if its my house.
its so obnoxious!
so he continued and said there not much pple his house
mom in the states
bro would only be home at night
maybe jus his dad... but most of the time there's nobody.
so im like... so how i am i gonna go in. i fly in?
den he said " maybe i get u a set of key or something"

I AM EXCEPTIONALLY STUNNED

a set of keys for me to his house!
just for me!

*going crazy

im going haywire because i didnt think this would happen.
baby trust me so much ? (ah... muacks muack to you!)
we have be together for jus close to 5 mths and
this kinda thing came out from you ( as if we have been dating for years... omg )
its sweet, but i doubt i am taking the idea.
its jus so rude... and wrong...

its sweet darling, its really nice of you :)

baby...
why havent you call... it's 930pm.
im waiting like usual

9:03 PM

Monday, July 28, 2008

had an interview in the morning at 9am with Touche Design.

SO EARLY...

tml there's another one... at the same time =.=
im late for 5 -10 mins :S
it went pretty well i guess.
the office is situated at geylang near lor 3.

i know i know, you must be thinking.
"GEYLANG?!" cuz it occured to me too.

but think the other way, im surrounded wit good food everyday.
oh my.. not very good either... ahaha
the company specialise in 2D, more on print.
which is what i am comfortable and good with.
it would be great if im selected as overrrall, the working envt seems adaptable and comfortable.

i want to work and save money! as well as "yang" somebody.
hahahahah!

oh well...

i work on last Friday at the offical opening of T3 event
pretty fun and great/funny experince as i got to walk behind Mr Lee Hsien Leong

got kinda close to him that his bodyguard stared at me :S

All those pple there are rich buggers.
i want to be one of them! zzz

while working, i kept counting down the hours till 6pm.
becuz.. my baby coming back from tekong!
after work, i rushed down to meet him at tenah merah mrt.
it's been 16 days that i havent seen him at all which awkardly evokes a weird mix feeling inside me.

when i first sighted him - in his smart4, dark skin, seems to be slimmer, and his short hair. he stood there waiting and looking at me.
i jus ran up to him afterwhich the stirring weird mix feeling jus dissolves away by e overwhelming happiness upon seeing him.
I am simply jus really happy to see him... well and safe.

spent rest of the time with him.
watch over and pat him to sleep. so cute.
like a toot. hahaha...

Unfortunately,

my macho baby went back to that "the land of GOODBYES" again (and more agains) as i await on this "freedom" island for his return.

which is ON SATURDAY.

so sad.. how sad.. very sad..

i can only like spend a night with him and the following day he's booking in already!
seriously, army need to give a tot for those NS men.

i understand they are training

BOYS INTO MEN...

and MEN INTO SOLDIERS...

and SOLDIERS INTO ...

WHATEVER LAHHHHHH

I DONT CARE!!!!!

( i respect that its all well for our country as well as the people)

however so, they are like taking out 2 years of their life.
jus like that ... POOF!

im like spending 4 days with him in a month.

WTH IS THIS.
cuz army let them out so late... den bring them in so early.

sigh... some guys dont even have the time to spend a decent day with the family.
they should make a strict rule that full days of the Saturday and Sunday are for the family and love ones, and Mondays for booking in.

Let those who are regulars or confinement ones stay in to keep stuff in order.

hmm... nice plan?

baby said that -

" how could you said you are waiting for me... waiting is like not doing anything, jus merely waiting."

"but i am waiting for you to come out what, at the same time finding a job. This isnt call waiting?"

"not really... you are not waiting."

"OKAY... I AM NOT WAITING FOR YOU."

this is him! with his new guitar-lele which he brought over to camp.

"this is what you get when somebody is tryna take a pic of you
and you jus couldnt stop talking"

how cold can he get.
he's a dumb dumb as when i said wait.. it obviously refers to me waiting for him to come back by my side as he's the one and only that i really want to spend most of my time with now. Missing him every moment... so much so that he appeared in my dreams frequently.

how sweet you must be thinking.
noooooooooooo way.
cuz it seems that im always the one missing him!!!
ARGHS!

i actually would rather not to miss anyone cuz the feeling is too horrible

yes, he is toot and a dumb dumb.
but he still will

'always be my baby'.

hey sweet,
dont worry as im always your good baby girl.
Smile more willya? for me?

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
Noooohoh!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry noooh
And I won't beg you to staaaay
If you're determined to leave booy
I will not stand in your waaaay
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end nooooh ooohh

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back boy
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time
Of time!

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (and we will linger on)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong (ohhhh)
No way you're never gonna shake me (oh baby)
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (you and I will always be)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby
(You & I)
(You & I)
(You & I will always be! )

You and I will always be
No way your never gonna shake me
No way your never gonna shake me
You and I will always be

11:53 PM

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

i havent touch my blog for some time, and its time to update it.
wow, i really dont know how to start.

how about life...
life?
still same? same as in mundane or maybe its getting more depressing for me
life in school was much more exciting.
things changes thruough phases of life, in everyones'
and this is my time where i have to venture alone out into the merciless world to battle in order to grow stronger.

im metaphorically saying about getting to work.
well, i have been soughting a suitable job for sometime.
and finding a job is aint a easy 'job' either. get my irony?
Since graduated from sch, ive been to 3 interviews.
Maybe i am picky over jobs, maybe they just doesnt suits me.
well, i am the one have to deal with it for a whole long more time as im the one working anyway, i guess i have the choice to seek for what i like?

oh well...
tml is my forth interview.
:S

i have never had this
"IVE ENOUGH FUN, I WAN TO WORK NOW"
feeling before.
now im tasting it and it made me feel like a dull grown up. --.--
geesh

Anyway, baby left me on the 9th July off to that well-known torturous land of dicks and hairless creatures, where its self-claimed as " where boys become MEN" or perhaps i call it "the land of GOODBYES".
alright, im being a sacarstic ass here.
it was my first time there along with Jacob's dad. 0.0
Jacob's dad was a SIA pilot, and amazingly he doesnt resemble one from any angle. haha... BABY SAID THAT TO ME TOO! HOR!
that tour took friggin 4 hrs... and i end up sleepin in the audi as i am not interested in any other thing else except my baby. Be it even though the fact that i am surrounded by strong well build and dark man or men or boy or boys.
i am so not interested at all... hahah!

had the 'last lunch' tgt and all of them hve to fall in.
had a quick hug and a goodbye kiss.
At that moment, i couldnt bear to see my baby go!!!
jus keep looking at him amoung the others irritating taller boy blockin my view...
GO AWAY LA!! aahah....
after which i "followed" him walking with the others to the parade square,
stupid baby dont even know or looked for me de! :(
while im sitting awkardly with Jacob's dad in the ferry.
i felt so lost and empty.
i left my heart on that "land of GOODBYES" with one current burned botak
:(

this coming friday,
baby is coming back to "freedom island" back by my side, along with my heart.
LOVES!

I JUST CANT WAIT!!!

4:26 PM

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

omg, i dunno how to say this
but if u are a total you tuber-fan
you'll know weezer is extremely wicked to include all the famous video from you tube.

i'll jus explain why.
becuz they include many famous or most watched you tube vid inside their official pork and beans song vid.

the first one is from the FAMOUS GUITAR GUY that plays canon in D rock.
looks familier? if u see properly properly, its a scene from his bedroom. cool eh?

then, is the stupid staring back weezer and the japan girls.

follow on by this clumsy falling kufung black guy.

then, the COKE + METHOS experiment.

this vid also had some random cartoon? that i dunno

the T shirt thingy is to represent the guy/girl that train themselves within a period of time and take pic of themselve everyday. Search it and u'll know what i m talking about.

this blonde and crying guy.... i forgot abt his name... but he's pretty famous about imitating celebrity's gossips and acting out his/others sacarstic opinions. I think that vid is the re-act vid of "leave britney alone"

a hot girl from Miss ??? (ive no idea)

with light sabers? yea, there's pretty lots of light saber vids in you tube but not with a hot babe. ahahaha

after which a fat guy singing? WHO THE HELL IS THAT ?

3 boys dancing to soulja boy. YAY, ive watched that too.

which after that show the famous "evolution dance" video by this comedian. YAY MAN!

a black teen singing? i nv seen b4.

then the camera angle changed and show as if its like a piano tutorial. Many piano tutorial in you tube.

and showing of 2 hands - the DAFT PUNK MTV! hahaha...

den this girl wearing colour socks!
she's quite famous... i forgot about her name
but she talks about things and opinions on you tube.
you can even post Qs to her and she will video reply u.
many pple watch her but not in sg i think.
her video is like always more then 5 millons.
she's hot man!

after which show a drag?
i forgot the vid title too but its about shoes... its kinda stupid.

then all comes together.. and u can see all things from you tube...
Miss ??? grinding things together in the grinder... is to represent " CAN IPOD GRIND"
and if u are attentive enough. LOOK BEHIND HER!
my all time fav you tube vid.
CHARLIE AND THE CANDY MOUNTAIN!!!
hahahahaha!!

watch it!

i realised im sucha you tuber freak after watching this.

4:05 AM

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I LOVE MY BABY JACOB LIM FANG YAO

i must say that time really flies
its been 2 months and seriously it felt longer.
both of us felt the same way.
silly baby. silly us.

i really enjoy and cherish every single moment with him.
whatever we are doin and wherever we are.
be it quarreling or simply jus being for there for each other.

we have had our problems initially.
it was really a big deal for me as it'd affected me
luckily, we are able to handled it.

in days when my child side takes overs
he's so understanding and patient
and when he's a child, that will be my time to be likewise
frankly, i really appreciate how patient is he to me.
:)

we have our differences
and we know that.
we've come to a understanding to curb the differences
therefore, now.
we are enjoying every moment!

i'm glad that i've replied ya mail in __
if not i wouldnt have found u!
HAHA!!!

and baby,
i know trust takes a lifetime to build
and takes seconds to destroy it.
i know u dont enitrely trust me yet
and neither do i
but still, most importantly is the present that matters.
you know that i love you.
:)

i am sure that happier days awaits ahead for us

i love u, my one and only baby boy

check those eye bags! baby, we need slp!!!!

we looked kinda malay liked.
oh gosh.

" When this cold world comes between us,

Please tell me youll be brave "

- Bon Jovi song: lie to me

6:00 AM

Sunday, May 11, 2008

i didnt know short short flims can be so amazing.
jus check this out.

this short film is under "futureshorts" in you tube.
however is produced by Blue tongue Flim
(http://www.bluetonguefilms.com)
Directed by Nash Edgerton

Under the "Futureshorts"
there's many amazing short flims.
go and check it out!

the one im showing made me swallowed my throat
and made my jaws wide apart.
another spendid short flim!

"Spider"

so remember!

" it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. "

9:02 PM

Thursday, May 08, 2008

omg.

this is an thai advertisement on Facial Cleanser
They took a whole different art direction for it by revolving the product with a love story
it have many series like dramas.
so i think if it gonna target metropolis like singapore
the ads would cost a bomb, not very versetile eh.
and i dont think it portray the keys of the product effectively
however it does make a serious impression to the market.
i think its brillant!!! and i love it.
its like a short love movie.

watch it or you'll regret it!

and what a metaphor to describe guys!
"they are like pimples - useless"

haha... so girls out there.
if u ponder on any good for nothing guys, they are jus like pimples!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAA
and i think the guy with the centapid tattoo is friggin cute.
>.<

6:02 PM

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

it was a tough week for me last week. (even now)

relationship problems
parents problems
money problems
emotion problems

why am i facing so many problems?
Especially from you?
thing for both of us jus seems to get worse
why is this happening?
i dont understand.
i dont get you.
and he still dont get it too.
nor is he trying to make things better.
it seems that he's not doin anything at all.
no effort.
no action.
no shit man.

i did nothing wrong from the start at all.
so what if now im not wad i used to anymore?

you made me this way.

you made me feel miserable (everyday, and it getting worse)
you made me feet unappreciated
you made me feel like a spare tyre
you made me feel that im not loved by you at all
you made me feel jaded
you made me feel numb
you made me have thoughts.
you made me not to love u like i used to anymore

your reasons are jus absurd and ridiculous.

im not commiting much anymore
its just seems so pointless for me
cuz shit is wad i get in the end.
i deserve this?
what for right?
whatever you said or promised apparently are paradoxal
none i got from you.

im so tired
i feel so lost
i snapped
i need my escapism.

i met up some hock folks last fri at sucha odd time
midnight.
i was really unhappy whole day
i couldnt smile genuinely.
my heart and mind are in sucha drag for me to take
life jus feel like death to me.
i need accompany
i need to go crazy
hence, i went all the way to sk to find them
Jojo, Corny, Shark (came down after his drinking), Daps, and Suhui.
i seriously wanna thanks Jojo and Corny.
i appreciate what you guys did, simply for the sake to make me happy.
i was really happy that night.
thanks you all.
i missed those time where i feel that ive no probs nor anything to worry abt
all we ought to do is to broad about what is fun to do.
simply jus have fun!
we were bad ass punks that night.
all geared up
with rollarblades, skateboard, scooter, haro bike and mountain bike
drunkard Shark riding like a loose lunatic
Corny complaining and whinning at practically everything
Jojo acting cool and his phoney jokes
Daps smiling silly-ly at everything
Suhui making Jojo look like a stupid dork
and me, scolding and controlling all the guys
not forgetting my ultimate laughters
i was so happy that night.
played blind catching on the neighbourhood feet massage pebbles.
Jojo suggested it.
and ah! i wan more!
sooooo frigging fun!
unfortunately something happened
my phone was in my pocket.
i fall and landed on it
the screen cracked.
great...

"sucha good deal, thanks god!"

im like so --.-- over it
and Jojo goes, at least u had a great time uhhh?
yeah, i did. phone cracked?
ahhhh... i guess nvm la (for now)
if something that can be solved by money.
its not really a problem isnt it?
but here's the problem.
where i get the money?
hahaha....

zzz this time i still can joke.
oh wells.

you asked
"will you really be better off without me"
would you?

here's a song im dedicating to all the friends that appreciate & love me for being who i am
and those that showerd me with care and concern.
those who stood by me.
i never knew i have friends that worried and hate seeing me unhappy
i'm really happy to know
i never knew.
but i do now.

guys, i know what im doing.
dont worry.
let me hang on.
:)

Escape the Fate - Friends and Alibis

sorry, they dont have music vid for this either :(

Oh, I hate to be the one to bear the bad news
Yes, it is true
I finally fell in love
I fell so hard that I'm killing myself
Yes, I need help
Out of this grave that I've dug

And all the friends that I have gone through
And how much I deserve the pain
It's a shame

So hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night

Oh, they always told me I was gorgeous in a way
And that fateful day
I found who I was
So fill this hole with my prescriptions
I just keep feeding my addictions

And all the friends that I have gone through
And how much I deserve the pain
It's a shame

So hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night
We will have our night

You were the ones that stood by my side, whoa
And I was the one that fought all of your fights

(Hold your head, hold it up high) Whoa
(Keep this close by your side) Whoa

So hold your head
Hold it high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night

Hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night

Hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night
We will have our night

2:52 AM

Friday, April 11, 2008

crap-felt
a song that kinda describe me
by
Escape the Fate - Reverse this Curse

they dont have music video for this song :(

A withered past and a blurry future,
My hearts on an auction,
It goes out to the highest bid.

I live to fast, and I know I will lose her,
But there is an option, to die is to live in her head.

So I'll hang on, never let go.
I dug this pain into my chest.
It's dead
[Chorus:]

One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first.
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose, so let me tell you the truth.

A deadly wish but it should've come sooner,
A corpse in a funeral that I would never attend.
There is a light on in the back of this house,
But you're not around, to die is to live in her head.

So I'll hang on, never let go.
I dug this pain into my chest.

[Chorus:]
Instead,
One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first.
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.

So, this goes, out to, the ones that fall in love,
And to, the girl, that filled my heart.
Last night I had the weirdest dream,
That you and I drove up the darkest streets,
Passing through these city lights,
Closure for the kiss that died.

One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first,
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.

One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first,
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.

(whisper) This goes
Out to
The ones that fall in love
Into the cold
That filled my dark (heart)

6:43 PM